Jon Mahon Christmas Special by NovaSquirrel

JON MAHON CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

HE'S MAKING A LIST

AND CHECKING IT 9001 times

GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY (in bed) AND NICE

JON MAHON IS COMING TO TOWN

He sees you when you're SHOWERING!!!! OH MY GOD

He knows when you're awake

HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY (in bed) OR GOOD

SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!

JON MAHON was impersonating santa AND DOING A BAD JOB OF IT. (he did grow a pretty epic beard for it though)

he took his 9001 detentions he had gotten over the years and CROSSED OFF HIS NAME

and wrote OTHER PEOPLES' NAMES ON THEM. (illegal) and for the detention location

he wrote in the address of some party place nobody knew about (not even him)

he was passing them out during lunch the next day with his friend SID SPACE

in a santa outfit and said "crap......... LETS BE SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!" (nobody heard)

so nobody knew it was him

even though

on the detention

you could still read the crossed out JON MAHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the detention reasons were things jon was well known for! (farting in class)

also the date on the detentions was December 25th (nobody noticed this either maybe they're dumb I DON'T KNOW)

everyone was all BUMMED OUT that they couldn't attend their christmas parties (NOT NOTICING that everyone in the parties had detentions too,

so there wouldn't really be any party because there'd be nobody there because AUGH I don't know..............)

so on december 25th everyone brought their party stuff to the detention!!!!

AND DROVE TO THE MYSTERIOUS PLACE LISTED ON THE DETENTIONS

wait a second if there's TONS OF KIDS in one place AND THEY HAVE PARTY STUFF

THEN IT'S NOT A DETENTION AT ALL!!!!!!

THAT WAS!??????!??????????? A PARTY INVITATION!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

darn you jon AUGH

........ !??????????

then, when EVERYONE was inside

A GIANT CALIFORNIA REDWOOD TREE CRACKED A VIOLNET SNOWSORM AND FELL AS IF HINGED

BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE AND SNOWING EVERYONE IN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!????????!?!??!?

but hey it made a nice 30,60,90 right triangle

CRAP!!!!!!!!! so the people INSIDE THE PARTY PLACE

were STUCK INSIDE for the time being!!!!!!!!!!!! D:

so HERE I WILL ESTABLISH A PARTIAL LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WENT TO THE PARTY

celebrities: Barack Obama (with his awesome t-shirt), Osama bin Laden, Vegeta, Hitler, Anne Frank, (oops) Anne Frankenstein

classmates: Josh, Jared, Sid Space, Karson, DANNY, Tyler, Alex (both Nuclear and Irritable Alexes), d-love/2kdre

and the obligatory list of similarly named people: Billy Mays, Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Bill Cosby, Bill Gosper

(the first three bills make up the BILLY ALLIANCE)

SO THE PEOPLE NOW HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO DO IN THE AWESOME PARTY HOUSE UNTIL SOMEONE HELPS............

(or just enjoy the party)

d-love got a DISCO BALL AND SET IT UP

ACTUALLY 99999 disco balls

BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD LASERS AND WERE EVIL

and was DJing and rapping and stuff

d-love: "YO YO YO jon mahon YO"

d-love: "gotta eat the toast"

d-love: "'cause its christmas time OKAY?????????????????"

SO JON MAHON GOT OUT a giant candycane

and used it AS A SWORD

TO FIGHT OFF THE DISCO BALLS

but wasn't getting very much progress

Jared: "ME NO LIKE DISCO BALLS"

and Jared left! (somehow)

BUT THE DISCO BALLS WERE STILL ATTACKING

until suddenly VEGETA WAS LIKE "KAMEHAMEHA!!"

and blew up the disco balls with a huge energy blast

that somehow did not damage the building or any guests

So THE BILLY ALLIANCE GROUPED TOGETHER

AND DECIDED TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE WALL TO GET OUT.

SO WERE BRAINSTORMING together until JON MAHON SUDDENLY FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHOSE FART BLEW everyone into "THE NIGHT BEFORE JON MAHON"

'Twas NOT the night before JON MAHON, when all through the SCHOOL

Not a creature was FARTING, not even uh Jared! LOLOOLOLLOLOLOLO;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that JON MAHON SOON WOULD BE THERE;

...but then suddenly a bee flew in and it stung someone who died and then they SUED IT FOR MURDER

LANDING THEM BACK IN UHHHHH THE JON MAHON PARTY HOUSE

BECAUSE THE JUDGE FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so they were back at the party house

and suddenly Wendy from the restaurant named Wendy's came over

and uh well

SHE worked with IRRITABLE ALEX

to create FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN

WHO WAS ALMOST THE SAME AS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN

EXCEPT HE ACTUALLY WAS A FROSTY AND also simultaneously product placement

also he was evil and he throw snowballs at people

BARACK OBAMA WAS WATCHING POKEMON IN THE CORNER

and turned into BROCK OBAMA (like in obamastory)

and d-love started DJing some rock music

which caused obama to then change into BROCKSTAR OBAMA

AND SUDDENLY PLAYED SOME REALLY RAD TUNES

and he chased after FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN

but Jon Mahon handed a super cool electric guitar to Brockstar Obama

who accidentally made frosty the frostyman explode WITH DA POWER OF MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!1

JARED WAS SOMEHOW BACK

and then there was rebecca whose last name was BLACK

oops I mean there was REBECCA BLACK WHO WAS SINGING "FRIDAY" ENDLESSLY

and JACK BLACK

Hitler: "what does the scouter say about her annoyingness level"

Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!"

and jack black who was obsessed with octagons

drew an octagon

Jack: "WE FOUND AN OCTAGON!!!!!!!!!"

BUT IT WAS A MAGIC ORANGE OCTAGON

AND WAS ACTUALLY A PORTAL

so everyone went in thinking it was a way out of the party place

but it actually just led to ANOTHER MAGIC OCTAGON that was BLUE

!!!!!

except it was always friday

Jared: "ME NO LIKE FRIDAY"

so they went back in

and it was always NOT friday

so rebecca black shut up finally

so JACK BLACK TRIED TO SING FRIDAY (in a really heavy russian accent)

BUT THERE WAS A CHARACTER NAMED SLIPPERY SOAP FROM BLUES CLUES

WHO WAS MAKING A SLIPPERY MESS

but he slipped and fell on an octagon before he could finish

poor jack

Jon Mahon did not actually have a real christmas tree

so he took a fake robot one

and put it up

Sid Space: "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A FAKE CHRISTMAS!???????"

Jon Mahon: "sure"

Sid Space: "WHAT!"

Jon Mahon: "WHATS THE MATTER DO YOU NOT LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTMAS!????"

Hitler: "NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

but the fake robot tree came with a fake robot santa

who was evil

but Karson kicked its butt

because he's goot at kicking robots' butts

so the BILLY ALLIANCE got together with nuclear alex (who knew about radioactive stuff)

and josh had some uranium in his pocket.

and the billy alliance decided they would make a machine that harnessed the power of jon mahon's illegal nuclear farts

to blast a hole in the party house and get out

so the BILLY ALLIANCE with the help of NUCLEAR ALEX

constructed a machine and inserted josh's uranium

and jon mahon was given pizza

and then jon farted

and a GIGANTIC HOLE WAS BLASTED IN THE CEILING

it was pretty impossible to get out through it though

CONSIDERING IT WAS ON THE FREAKING CEILING

for some reason IRONICALLY after the hole was blasted the VIOLNET SORM disappeared and all the snow was gone

(also the tree REVERSE-FELL as if hinged - if that's even POSSIBLE)

completely negating any need for the hole in the first place.

and to make it worse the fart made it super smelly all the way from here to 125 MILES away.

The billy alliance was FINED FOR DAMAGE TO THE PARTY HOUSE because the person DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VIOLNET SORM

and thought the explosion was random and unnecessary

AND THAT WAS ILLEGAL.

so they got out anyway

and nobody cared

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

THIS HAS BEEN A JON MAHON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

Jon Mahon Christmas Special

NovaSquirrel

24 February 2013 at 17:12:41 MST

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