HE'S MAKING A LIST
AND CHECKING IT 9001 times
GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY (in bed) AND NICE
JON MAHON IS COMING TO TOWN
He sees you when you're SHOWERING!!!! OH MY GOD
He knows when you're awake
HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY (in bed) OR GOOD
SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!
JON MAHON was impersonating santa AND DOING A BAD JOB OF IT. (he did grow a pretty epic beard for it though)
he took his 9001 detentions he had gotten over the years and CROSSED OFF HIS NAME
and wrote OTHER PEOPLES' NAMES ON THEM. (illegal) and for the detention location
he wrote in the address of some party place nobody knew about (not even him)
he was passing them out during lunch the next day with his friend SID SPACE
in a santa outfit and said "crap......... LETS BE SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!" (nobody heard)
so nobody knew it was him
on the detention
you could still read the crossed out JON MAHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the detention reasons were things jon was well known for! (farting in class)
also the date on the detentions was December 25th (nobody noticed this either maybe they're dumb I DON'T KNOW)
everyone was all BUMMED OUT that they couldn't attend their christmas parties (NOT NOTICING that everyone in the parties had detentions too,
so there wouldn't really be any party because there'd be nobody there because AUGH I don't know..............)
so on december 25th everyone brought their party stuff to the detention!!!!
AND DROVE TO THE MYSTERIOUS PLACE LISTED ON THE DETENTIONS
wait a second if there's TONS OF KIDS in one place AND THEY HAVE PARTY STUFF
THEN IT'S NOT A DETENTION AT ALL!!!!!!
THAT WAS!??????!??????????? A PARTY INVITATION!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
darn you jon AUGH
then, when EVERYONE was inside
A GIANT CALIFORNIA REDWOOD TREE CRACKED A VIOLNET SNOWSORM AND FELL AS IF HINGED
BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE AND SNOWING EVERYONE IN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!????????!?!??!?
but hey it made a nice 30,60,90 right triangle
CRAP!!!!!!!!! so the people INSIDE THE PARTY PLACE
were STUCK INSIDE for the time being!!!!!!!!!!!! D:
so HERE I WILL ESTABLISH A PARTIAL LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WENT TO THE PARTY
celebrities: Barack Obama (with his awesome t-shirt), Osama bin Laden, Vegeta, Hitler, Anne Frank, (oops) Anne Frankenstein
classmates: Josh, Jared, Sid Space, Karson, DANNY, Tyler, Alex (both Nuclear and Irritable Alexes), d-love/2kdre
and the obligatory list of similarly named people: Billy Mays, Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Bill Cosby, Bill Gosper
(the first three bills make up the BILLY ALLIANCE)
SO THE PEOPLE NOW HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO DO IN THE AWESOME PARTY HOUSE UNTIL SOMEONE HELPS............
(or just enjoy the party)
d-love got a DISCO BALL AND SET IT UP
ACTUALLY 99999 disco balls
BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD LASERS AND WERE EVIL
and was DJing and rapping and stuff
d-love: "YO YO YO jon mahon YO"
d-love: "gotta eat the toast"
d-love: "'cause its christmas time OKAY?????????????????"
SO JON MAHON GOT OUT a giant candycane
and used it AS A SWORD
TO FIGHT OFF THE DISCO BALLS
but wasn't getting very much progress
Jared: "ME NO LIKE DISCO BALLS"
and Jared left! (somehow)
BUT THE DISCO BALLS WERE STILL ATTACKING
until suddenly VEGETA WAS LIKE "KAMEHAMEHA!!"
and blew up the disco balls with a huge energy blast
that somehow did not damage the building or any guests
So THE BILLY ALLIANCE GROUPED TOGETHER
AND DECIDED TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE WALL TO GET OUT.
SO WERE BRAINSTORMING together until JON MAHON SUDDENLY FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOSE FART BLEW everyone into "THE NIGHT BEFORE JON MAHON"
'Twas NOT the night before JON MAHON, when all through the SCHOOL
Not a creature was FARTING, not even uh Jared! LOLOOLOLLOLOLOLO;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that JON MAHON SOON WOULD BE THERE;
...but then suddenly a bee flew in and it stung someone who died and then they SUED IT FOR MURDER
LANDING THEM BACK IN UHHHHH THE JON MAHON PARTY HOUSE
BECAUSE THE JUDGE FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so they were back at the party house
and suddenly Wendy from the restaurant named Wendy's came over
and uh well
SHE worked with IRRITABLE ALEX
to create FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN
WHO WAS ALMOST THE SAME AS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
EXCEPT HE ACTUALLY WAS A FROSTY AND also simultaneously product placement
also he was evil and he throw snowballs at people
BARACK OBAMA WAS WATCHING POKEMON IN THE CORNER
and turned into BROCK OBAMA (like in obamastory)
and d-love started DJing some rock music
which caused obama to then change into BROCKSTAR OBAMA
AND SUDDENLY PLAYED SOME REALLY RAD TUNES
and he chased after FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN
but Jon Mahon handed a super cool electric guitar to Brockstar Obama
who accidentally made frosty the frostyman explode WITH DA POWER OF MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!1
JARED WAS SOMEHOW BACK
and then there was rebecca whose last name was BLACK
oops I mean there was REBECCA BLACK WHO WAS SINGING "FRIDAY" ENDLESSLY
and JACK BLACK
Hitler: "what does the scouter say about her annoyingness level"
Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!"
and jack black who was obsessed with octagons
drew an octagon
Jack: "WE FOUND AN OCTAGON!!!!!!!!!"
BUT IT WAS A MAGIC ORANGE OCTAGON
AND WAS ACTUALLY A PORTAL
so everyone went in thinking it was a way out of the party place
but it actually just led to ANOTHER MAGIC OCTAGON that was BLUE
except it was always friday
Jared: "ME NO LIKE FRIDAY"
so they went back in
and it was always NOT friday
so rebecca black shut up finally
so JACK BLACK TRIED TO SING FRIDAY (in a really heavy russian accent)
BUT THERE WAS A CHARACTER NAMED SLIPPERY SOAP FROM BLUES CLUES
WHO WAS MAKING A SLIPPERY MESS
but he slipped and fell on an octagon before he could finish
Jon Mahon did not actually have a real christmas tree
so he took a fake robot one
and put it up
Sid Space: "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A FAKE CHRISTMAS!???????"
Jon Mahon: "sure"
Sid Space: "WHAT!"
Jon Mahon: "WHATS THE MATTER DO YOU NOT LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTMAS!????"
Hitler: "NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!"
but the fake robot tree came with a fake robot santa
who was evil
but Karson kicked its butt
because he's goot at kicking robots' butts
so the BILLY ALLIANCE got together with nuclear alex (who knew about radioactive stuff)
and josh had some uranium in his pocket.
and the billy alliance decided they would make a machine that harnessed the power of jon mahon's illegal nuclear farts
to blast a hole in the party house and get out
so the BILLY ALLIANCE with the help of NUCLEAR ALEX
constructed a machine and inserted josh's uranium
and jon mahon was given pizza
and then jon farted
and a GIGANTIC HOLE WAS BLASTED IN THE CEILING
it was pretty impossible to get out through it though
CONSIDERING IT WAS ON THE FREAKING CEILING
for some reason IRONICALLY after the hole was blasted the VIOLNET SORM disappeared and all the snow was gone
(also the tree REVERSE-FELL as if hinged - if that's even POSSIBLE)
completely negating any need for the hole in the first place.
and to make it worse the fart made it super smelly all the way from here to 125 MILES away.
The billy alliance was FINED FOR DAMAGE TO THE PARTY HOUSE because the person DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VIOLNET SORM
and thought the explosion was random and unnecessary
AND THAT WAS ILLEGAL.
so they got out anyway
and nobody cared
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
THIS HAS BEEN A JON MAHON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!