"You say that it's not your fault,
And swear that I am mistaken,
You said it's not what it seems,
No remorse for the trust you're breaking.
You run, but then back you fall,
Suffocate in the mess you're making,
You can't get enough you take,
And take and take and take and take.
FUCK IT, ARE YOU LISTENING!?"
(Linkin Park - 'Blackout')
Back in summer, I was dealing with a verbal abusive co-worker. He made feel like all my efforts and hard work was more or less for nothing. Continuing for the past two years of verbal abuse, threats, even wanting to beat me outside of our work. For several months, 3-4 hours a day... 4 days a week. 'Hybrid Theory' and 'Meteroa' blared out from my Bluetooth speaker. As a way to vent out my frustrations and my anger. Listening to the music I grew up with was such a relief.
Then one day, I get off work, I start seeing statuses about Chester passing away. And I thought it was some sort of a twisted joke. Until I saw more of social media blowing up about it. I ended up leaving work to buying a bottle of vodka, closing my door, and drinking almost half of it in confusion. Of someone who I idolized as a kid passing away. Finally to the breaking point of expressing my feelings into tears with someone of how much I felt about someone as significant to bringing such joy out of a sad world... though music.
I didn't appreciate all of Linkin Park's music, but I appreciated of the fact they took chances, risks, of feeling alienated with experimenting. That's where 'A Thousand Suns' was one of those albums I was in awe of. Sitting in my car alone during a college night, listening to it. I was amazed of it. 'Blackout' has such deep, raw emotion into it that it's probably one of my top five Linkin Park songs, if not my personal favorites.
I'm thankful someone like Chester has brought a lot of us together, knowing we're not along in our demons, our fights with life. I'm happy he pushed himself out there to expressing the demons within his heart.
Thank you for bringing a sense of peace into my heart.
And I hope you rest in peace <3
Thank you so much <3
Character © MunchyPaws
Art © FrostyPuppy ( https://www.furaffinity.net/user/frostypuppy )
( Original: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25771019/ )