I have always been a loner and for most of my life I have been very reserved, shy and quiet. It was rare for me to speak more than three sentences in an entire week. My favorite activities were those that I could do alone.

I will admit that I as grew older I became a bit more talkative. This was due to having to be in the workplace five days per week which forced me to speak with other people. This not only improved my verbal communication skills but showed me that I am not the cold person many assumed that I was. I discovered that I was a very warm and loving person and, although I was not comfortable with people, I truly cared about them.

Over my lifetime I have watched the world change quickly and exponentially. Some of these changes have been beneficial. Others have been harmful and unhealthy for the planet and humanity in general. In my opinion, the most unhealthy advancement has been the changes in how we communicate and relate to one another. I find it heartbreaking because we have lost our sense of community in its truest definition.

Many believe that technologically has benefited our sense of community because it has stretched community to being worldwide instead of merely within our own neighborhoods. I will concede that this is true and I believe in unity and that we are one. We are to help each other and care for one another no matter our ethnicity, background or where we may live. In this aspect, I agree that technology has benefited us.

Yet, technology has caused humanity to lose the personal touch we once had. It has put a wedge between ourselves and those we are closest to. We may have friends on the other side of the globe but how often do we hear their voices, see them in person or give them a hug? Worse yet, I have observed that even those who we are closest to, have known all our lives and would at one time see in person on a regular basis are now as if they are on the other side of the world. Technology has made it way too convenient to send a quick message and then be about our business without a second thought for the other person.

I remember back in the 1970’s and 1980’s my best friend and I would talk on the phone for hours. Our parents would become frustrated and implore us to hang up the phone. Even after she moved out of state this continued. It continued until even after email became popular.

My phone conversations with my siblings and friends continued on despite technology’s advancements...until texting became a thing. Even when I was still active, texting was something I could not understand and I did not enjoy but I was able to cope with the occasional text. These days, however, even the mere mention of the word “texting” brings tears to my eyes.

My life has changed immensely over the last decade. Ten years ago I suffered a stroke which caused me to incur other illnesses such as epilepsy and myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome in addition to a whole host of other diagnoses. These illnesses have progressed to the point that I am now a shut in. In the middle of these past ten years my older son died. My younger son recently married and is in the process of moving across the country. In addition to everything else I now am trying to cope with empty nest syndrome as a single woman in her fifties.

I do not write about my ailments or life to gain sympathy but to prove a point. I have friends and family who live close by but, due to technology, I will go for days without talking to or seeing any of them. In fact, I can go for days without even receiving a text from anyone. I realize that if I were still healthy and could still drive, this probably would not bother me so much; firstly, because I am a loner. Secondly, I would not give a thought to the fact that there are people who are chronically ill, shut ins and/or elderly who sit alone in their homes every day with no one to talk to because I would be busy with my life.

These days my best friend and I talk on the phone twice a year: on our birthdays. When we are on the phone I find myself actually talking too much due to my loneliness. I can tell my friend wants to get off the phone and she is always so busy. She eventually succeeds in shutting me up and returning to her busy life and I am left feeling like one of those obnoxious people no one wants to be around because they are self centered and talk too much. She is not, however, my only friend who I have noticed doing this. I also admit to the fact that loneliness has caused me to become overly talkative on the rare occasions that I am blessed to either talk to someone on the phone or see them in person.

In order to respect the busy lives of others, I have texted family members and friends to ask them to call me when they have time. Typically what happens is that I will receive a return text asking what the topic of conversation will be and then the texting continues on into a full blown “conversation”. I never receive the call I requested...I do not get to hear a human voice.

Recently my son and daughter-in-law drove me to the grocery store where I went up to the seafood counter which was quite busy that day. The gentleman in front of me in line was texting on his phone while the woman behind the counter was trying to help him with his purchase. After he left she looked at me and said, “that is so rude”. I agreed with her and told her I was still stuck in the year 1975. She and her co-worker became excited to hear me say this. We did a round of high fives and hailed 1975 when people were present, polite, compassionate and cognizant of those around them.