Chapter 1
Johnny Birthday Gift

Johnny Bear was in his senior year of high school on his 18th birthday on April 19th, 1972. For Johnny's birthday, his mom and dad gave him $1,000 to go to picking out a nice used car.
"Oh thank you Mom. Thank you Dad!", Johnny gleefully explained.
"We figure you're at the age where you should be having a car", said Papa Bear.
"A please don't go speeding and showing off with it", Mamma Bear reminded Johnny.
"Oh I won't. I promise", Johnny Bear replied then asked, "Are we going this evening to pick out a car?".
"We're going to let you do that on your own after you get out of school tomorrow, Son", said Papa bear.
"Mamma Bear added, "Your dad and I figured that would nurture responsibility for you if you can pick a car out for your self", followed by Papa nodding in agreement.
"Just remember the things that our mechanic, James Otter, told you what to look out for in choosing a car", Papa reminded Johnny.

Chapter 2
Johnny Chooses a Car

After school let out the following day, Johnny Bear was so excited that this was the day he will be buying his very first car. Johnny took a bus to a used car lot that a friend in school told him about, Sweet Deal Sam's Car Emporium, owned and operated by Sammy Janson Fox (S.J.)...It was one of those type of used car lots that had the colourful strings of little triangle flags everywhere, and aired those loud, zany advertisements on television.
At the car lot, Johnny was greeted with a paw shake by one of Sammy's sales associates, "Hello! I'm Ben Weasel. Welcome to Sweet Deal Sam's. You can call me Buzz. What kind of car are you in the market for today?"
"Oh. Well hello. I'm Johnny Bear", Johnny replied.
"Well Johnny, I see you're ready for a car. We're ready to make you a sweet deal today", Ben Weasel said with an aura of enthusiasm.
"I see a lot of nice cars here", Johnny replied. "Hmmm. Which one do I want?".
"Come on. I'll show you around", Ben Weasel offered Johnny Bear.
The car lot had a music system, turned down rather low, that was presently playing the Route 66 song;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcZ1k4d02KA
Ben Weasel asked, "How will you be using your car, Johnny?...Your automotive needs".
"Going to and from school for one thing", Johnny answered.
"Then I take it you're looking for a small to mid size car", said Ben.
"Yea. That would be great", Johnny replied.
"An' a two door?...Those gals in school like a guy who drives a two door car, ya know", Ben added.
"I notice two door cars do seem to look better too", Johnny mentioned.

After Johnny and Buzz became more acquainted, Johnny found out that most of the cars on the lot were a bit out of the $1,000 price range, most of them being cars less than five years old from the late 1960s, and going for prices ranging from $1,699 to as high as $3,799 (the going prices for late model used cars back in 1972).
"Hello there, young fella", Sammy Fox greeted Johnny Bear as he came walking up, "Sammy Fox's the name...You can call me S.J.".
"I'm Johnny Bear", Johnny replied, then continued, "Your cars here cost more than I thought though".
"He's a little short on money, S.J., "said Ben Weasel.
"Buzz, what about that Pontiac we took in two days ago?", Sammy Fox asked.
"Ebenezer and I just did get it running today", Ben replied.
"Johnny. Follow me. I have a car here you'll like", Sammy Fox said to Johnny Bear.
As they walked over to see the car, Sammy told Johnny, "I use to go to school with a raccoon named Johnny. Cool kid. You remind me a whole lot of him".
The car lot's music system was by now playing Up Cherry Street by Herb Alpert;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31IQoa5AbpE
"Well there it is", said Sammy Fox as they walked up to the car.
"Isn't it a beauty?", Ben Weasel affirmed.
It was a 2 door, 1963, Pontiac Tempest in light metallic beige and white (then a 9 year old car).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3EameWPH_g
"Not a dent on it. Nice paint", Ben Weasel said...which it was.
"Automatic. Six cylinder, good on gas...", Sammy continued.
"It has a four cylinder, S.J.", Ben corrected Sammy.
"Oh, a four. That's even better on gas...And the radio works", Sammy Fox assured Johnny, "This one's a peach, Johnny".
"Beautiful upholstery too", Ben Weasel added...Actually the upholstery was somewhat fair.
"Get a tag, Buzz", Sammy said to Ben Weasel, then said to Johnny Bear, "Let's go for a test ride".
Sammy had Ben go with Johnny on the test ride, Johnny driving.
The car didn't start at first.
"Just pump it a bit. It's been sitting up a while", Sammy called into the car to Johnny.
Johnny pumped the accelerator a few times, turned the key, and it started.
Out on the test drive, the car seemed to run nice, and Ben Weasel pointed out all the good stuff he could think of about the car...and maybe some good things Ben Weasel also invented about the car.
On the way back to the car lot, Ben asked Johnny, "If I get the price right for you today, can I earn your business today?".
"Oh yea. sure sure. I really like this car", Johnny answered.
Upon arrival back to the lot, the music system was playing Surfink by Mr. Gasser and the Weirdos;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PUr3UgQAl4
As Ben weasel and Johnny Bear were stepping out of the car, Sammy Fox said to Johnny, "Heyyyy, didn't I say it's a great car? A real peach, Johnny...Come on inside and let's make a deal".
"I really like this car. But I don't know I have enough for it", said Johnny.
"Isn't that ferret still coming by this afternoon to look at it?", Ben asked Sammy.
"Yea", Sammy said, paused a moment, then asked Johnny, "How much ya got, Johnny?".
"Only a thousand", Johnny answered.
"Aw shucks...What can we do for him, S.J.?", Ben Weasel asked.
"I was asking twelve fifty for this car", said Sammy Fox, then paused a moment, then told Johnny, "Tell ya what. You're a swell kid. You remind me of Johnny Raccoon I use to go to school with. Come on inside. I'll crunch some numbers. I think I can get down to a grand including tax and fees".
Inside the sales office, Sammy worked some numbers as Johnny Bear had his fingers crossed.
Ferry Cross the Mersey was by now playing soft and low as Sammy Fox was clicking the keys on an adding machine, and jotting down figures in a notepad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI9l2JRRepA
Sammy then said to Johnny, "Johnny, you're in luck. We got a deal".
"Aw-right!", Johnny gleefully exclaimed.
"A swell kid like you shouldn't have to be walking everywhere you go", Sammy said to Johnny.
"You got that right", said Johnny, "I been wanting a car for the longest time".
"Congratulations", Ben Weasel said to Johnny, "Your first set of wheels?".
"Sure is", Johnny answered happily.
Johnny then paid the $1,000, Sammy signed the title over, had Johnny Bear sign some forms, issued a 30 day, paper tag for the car, and the deal was done...Now it was off for home to show Mom and Dad the car. As Johnny began to drive away in his newly acquired car, the car lot's music system was playing Count Basie's - April in Paris;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCmcoZktZG4

Chapter 3
The Truth About Johnny Bear's Car

When Johnny arrived home and showed his parents the car, they were thrilled with it at first.
Johnny told his parents, "They fox at the car lot worked a deal where the thousand dollars you gave me for my birthday was enough to get it".
"Woah. Wait a minute", Papa Bear retorted. "It's a nice car...But a nine year old car is not worth a thousand dollars".
"It ain't?", Johnny asked.
"That fox saw you coming, Son. You should have checked to see what cars like this were going for", said Papa. "But anyway, the car seems to be a nice car".
"Well, it was a learning experience for Johnny", Mamma Bear said.
"True", Papa added. "It was better for Johnny to learn this now instead of when he is grown up and paying his own bills".
"How much is my car really worth?", Johnny asked.
"You should have been able to pick that car up for, oh I'd say, about three hundred fifty dollars", Papa answered his son.
"That all?!", Johnny retorted.
"Yup", Papa answered, then said. "Don't feel too bad though. Learning those things is a part of growing up".
"Well anyway, Son. You have a nice car now", Mamma assured Johnny.
It was getting late, and eventually time for bed. Tomorrow was a school day, and Johnny Bear could hardly wait to show his car to the others in school.

The next morning, as the Bear Family had breakfast, everyone was talking about what a nice car Johnny Bear had picked out. Johnny's parents were as proud as Johnny was of that car.
Well, it was getting later into the morning...time for school, and time to be heading off to work. Papa then left to go to work, and Johnny got into his car and headed off to school.
The car rode so nice going through town on the way to school...Just imagine...Driving to school...Not walking or taking the bus...Johnny felt like a BIG bear now...which in physical size and stature he was.
Johnny wanted to hear some tunes so he turned on the car radio. It didn't work at first, but Johnny thumped the dashboard, thus the radio came to life, playing Brandy Your a Fine Girl by Looking Glass.
"Ah yes", said Johnny. "The radio does work".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU
Johnny was already picturing in his mind his classmates saying, "Wow! Cool! Johnny has a set of wheels!"...
...After all, the coolest animals in school have their own cars.
Along the way, Johnny seemed to notice the motor would rev up a bit without the car increasing speed...like something was slipping.
Then, Johnny had caught a traffic light red. And when the light turned green, Johnny noticed the motor would rev up higher than normal, and the speed of the car had to catch up with the RPMs of the motor...Johnny realized this wasn't looking good.
As Johnny drove further, it got worse. Finally, after waiting at another traffic light, when the light turned green, the car's motor would rev up when Johnny gave it the gas, but the car sat still with a scrapping sound, accompanied by whining noises, eminating from the rear axle area of the car.
"What's wrong here", Johnny Bear pondered as he tried it in all selection; Drive, Lo1, Lo2, Reverse.
In every selection, Johnny would race the motor, and the car sat still, making those scrapping and whining sounds...and with motorists behind him blowing horns.
Finally, a wolf got out of his car long enough to help Johnny Bear push the car to the street curb and out of the way of traffic.
Johnny then found a pay phone and called home to tell Mamma about the car...Mamma was disappointed to hear of the car giving trouble already.
Mamma then called Papa at work, thus Papa had go see his boss to get off from work that day to address the situation Johnny was having with his car.
When Papa got to where Johnny was having car trouble, Johnny told Papa, what the symptoms were with the car. Johnny also demonstrated it by starting the car and trying to drive it.
Not taking notice the car didn't have transmission hump in the floor, Papa told Johnny, "Those sounds are like that of a bad transmission. But coming from the rear axle, I would have expected to be hearing gear grinding noises".
As Papa Bear checked to see if a rear axle shaft might have been slipping out, he said, "I wouldn't be surprised if that damn fox already knew something was wrong with this car before he sold it to you, Son".

Well, there was no use in, as they say, 'crying over spilled milk'. Papa went to the pay phone and called James Otter's shop to have James come out with a tow truck and get the car. Then Papa gave Johnny a ride to school, being Johnny was already 45 minutes late...So much for showing the other classmates "the cool car".

Chapter 4
Resolving the Matter

The following day was a Saturday. Papa didn't work weekends, and there is no school on weekends. After breakfast, the Bear Family got into the family station wagon, a 1969 Plymouth Fury, and went to the repair shop to find out from James Otter what was going on with the car.
At the James Otter's Automotive Repair, as Mamma, Papa and Johnny sat in the office speaking with James Otter about Johnny's car, James had some bad things to tell the Bear Family about Johnny's car.
James Otter told the Bear Family that his assistant mechanic, Rodney Raccoon, found saw dust in the transmission of Johnny Bear's car.
"If I ever find out who messed with my car, I'll pound the shit out of 'em", Johnny exclaimed.
"Okay, Johnny", Papa calmed Johnny down.
"No one messed with your car, Johnny", James Otter said. "That car had a bad transmission when you got it. The dealer you got it from had saw dust put in the transmission to make the car run long enough to get it sold...It's an old used car dealer trick that's been around since automatic transmissions have been around".
"I figured yesterday that fox who sold the car already knew something was wrong with it", said Papa Bear. Then Papa added, "When my son tried to drive it yesterday, him and I also heard noises coming from the rear axle".
"Oh. The transmission is in the rear of that car", James Otter mentioned. "That's why there's no big hump in the floor".
"I did notice the floor had lots of room up front, "said Johnny.
"What are we looking at to fix it?", Papa asked James.
"You don't want to try to fix this car. Trust me. There's more", James Otter informed Papa Bear.
"More?", Papa asked.
"As much as I hate to say it, yes. More", said James Otter, then asked, "Who did you get this car from anyway?"
"Uh...Sweet Deal Sam's Car Emporium", Johnny answered.
"Sammy Fox, isn't it?", Papa asked Johnny.
"Yea, Dad", Johnny answered.
"Slick Sammy. THAT crook", James replied. "There ain't no sweet deal about him".
As Rodney Raccoon brought the car's title into the office, James Otter said, "When Rodney wrote up a work ticket on your car, he had trouble reading the vin number on the title. And when he went to get it off the dash, he found out this is not the title to that car...Same year, make and model, but a different car. The vin numbers don't match. It's a bad title".
"I also found a clunking noise in the engine", said Rodney raccoon. "That's why Sammy Fox had the 90 weight oil in it".
"To quiet the clunking down so it wouldn't be noticeable", James Otter added. "That's a connecting rod bearing getting ready to go".
James Otter then told the Bears, "Rodney also found three pinholes in the radiator. There may be more of them...As I had figured, the thermostat had been pulled out so pressure wouldn't build up enough to make the pinholes obvious".
Then James Otter had the Bears come out into the garage area, where he had Rodney Raccoon pull back the floor carpeting so the metal floorboard can be seen.
"Oh damn", Papa said.
While the exterior of the car looked fairly good, the floorboard was badly rusted out with holes big enough to drop cantaloupes through.
"With this being a unibody car, it has no frame to hold it together when that floor rusts out all the way", James told them.
"Nothing but rust holding it together right now, isn't it?", Papa Bear asked.
"Well, that and a driveshaft tunnel", James Otter answered.
"Driveshaft tunnel?", Papa Bear replied.
"Some cars with the transmission in the rear have the engine and transmission bolted to each end of a driveshaft tunnel...This car has a driveshaft tunnel", James mentioned.
Then James Otter had Rodney Raccoon open the trunk. Trunk floor looked normal at first. Then James removed the trunk carpeting, which was a remnant of house carpet, revealing an improvised, plywood trunk floor. Under the wooden trunk floor, the trunk had no bottom in it...The original trunk floor was completely gone...You could have stood in the trunk and walked around on the garage floor if it were not for the gas tank in the way that was held underneath the car with bailing wire.
When Papa Bear told James Otter how much Sammy Fox charged Johnny Bear for the car, James said, "That car ain't worth more than twenty five dollars. That's what a scrapyard will give you for it".
The decision was finally made to have James Otter tow the car back to Sweet Deal Sam's Car Emporium, with the Bear Family following in the Bear Family station wagon.
Bear Family's station wagon; https://youtu.be/-KmnpWtsTpA?t=7
James Otter's tow truck; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8hBcXbfTH8
Needless to say, Johnny felt bummed-out watching his car being pulled along on James Otter's tow truck as he rode in the Bear Family station wagon following behind.

As the Bear Family's car began to pull into the used car lot behind James Otter's tow truck towing that Pontiac Tempest that Sammy Fox sold to Johnny, the bear family noticed Sammy Fox showing a late 1960s Corvette to a customer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8iGT9kgtQA
As Papa Bear pulled their station wagon alongside James' tow truck, they also noticed Raymond Skunk, another one of Sammy's sales flunkies, getting Sammy's attention and pointing at James Otter's tow truck with the Pontiac on the hook.
As the car lot's music system was playing Hot Rod Hootenanny by Mr. Gasser and the Weirdos, Sammy Fox told the customer, "Excuse me a moment. I'll be right back", then walked up to the Bear Family's station wagon and began acting sympathetic that the Pontiac he sold to Johnny had broken down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VimqLt1HnkQ
Immediately, Papa Bear stormed out of the car, then just about getting up in Sammy Fox's face, raged at Sammy, "You swindled my son on that pile of crap over there on that tow truck! And you're gonna make this thing right! You're not going to do my son this way!".
"Cars sold here are as is", Sammy Fox insisted as Ben Weasel came over for back up. "I'm not in the warranty business here. You want a warranty, buy a new one".
"How do you even sleep at nights, you scoundrel!", Mamma Bear scorned Sammy Fox.
"Hey! I sleep at nights quite well, thank you", Sammy wisecracked.
Johnny Bear then lurched at Sammy Fox, shouting, "I"LL FLATTEN YOU!".
"HOLD UP, JOHNNY", Papa called to his son.
"I wouldn't lay a paw on me if I were you", Sammy Fox warned Johnny Bear.
"I think you need to back off", Ben Weasel said to Johnny Bear.
Papa Bear then said to Ben Weasel, "My son can pick you up and throw you over some of these shit bucket cars you have here if he wanted to...you and that damn boss of yours both. YOU need to back off".
As Raymond Skunk came walking up, Papa Bear then called out to him, "You have anything to say about this?!".
Raymond Skunk immediately stopped in his tracks, and replied, "No, Sir!".
By this time, all the customers who were there at the car lot were already leaving when they saw the 'shit hittin' the fan'.
Ebenezer Opossum, the car washer, watched from a distance and stayed out of it.
"We CAN have you shut down, you know", James Otter told Sammy Fox as he was lowering the car down off his tow truck, then added, "And besides that, these late model cars you have here...I've heard most of them are flood damaged vehicles you got for next to nothing at an insurance loss auction".
"Yea? Prove it", Sammy Fox wised off at James Otter.
"You know well as I do, any DMV office can trace who owned a car from the title information", James Otter reminded Sammy Fox..."Or do most of these cars here not have proper titles?"

"Okay okay. What do want from me?" Sammy Fox asked.
"You are going to give that thousand dollars back to my son, take that heap back you sold, and pay James Otter for two towing bills you rightfully owe him", Papa Bear demanded.
"Or we can hire attorneys, and this can get ugly in court", James Otter assured Sammy Fox, then added, "I'm sure the local news papers would love to get a hold of that".
"Alright. We don't need this going there", Sammy Fox replied.
With that said, Sammy Fox refunded the $1,000, had Johnny sign back the title to the car (which was not a valid title anyway), and paid James Otter for the two towing bills at $27 each.
Now everyone was happy...Well, except for Sammy Fox and his wheel-n-deal sales flunkies...
...Ebenezer Opossum worked as a minimum wage paid, car washer / detailer for Sammy Fox. However, Ebenezer stayed out of that mess between his boss and the Bear Family.
As the Bear Family and James Otter were on their way back to their vehicles to leave Sammy Fox's used car lot, James asked Papa Bear, "See that '67 Vette over there?".
"Yea. I remember that was the car Sammy Fox had a customer looking at when we pulled in here", Papa Bear replied.
"I recognize it. A lynx owned it", said James Otter. "Seven months ago, he brought it into my shop to have me fix it up for him".
"And...", Papa Bear interjected.
"The lynx had drove the Hell out of it so bad, there's nothing left to it worth fixing", said James. "I told him so...Frame's also bent...Don't know how he managed that, but it's bent".
"Huh...Ain't that some shit", Papa Bear replied as everyone were getting into their vehicles.

A few days later, Johnny got a good deal on a red, 1965, Chevy Impala Super Sport. Johnny got the car from a private owner who had it up for sale for $650. And the car was in pristine condition, ran great, and had a good title.
https://youtu.be/7Ucqadhxsb0?t=18

As for Sweet Deal Sam's Car Emporium, Sammy Fox pulled so many bad deals on more unsuspecting customers, the State of New Mexico permanently revoked his car dealer's license...There were also issues involving tax fraud and altered car titles.
In fact, the day Sammy Fox's car lot was shut down, this was the last song playing on the music system when the DMV and revenue authorities showed up;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC048zJHec8
It kind of went down like this:
One of Sammy's sales flunkies greeted one of the DMV agents with a paw shake, "Hello! I'm Raymond Skunk. Welcome to Sweet Deal Sam's. What kind of car are you in the market for today?"
About the time Ben Weasel went to greet a revenue agent, thinking he was another customer, the agents showed their credentials, announced who they are, then asked, "Your boss. Samuel Janson Fox. He around?".
Ben Weasel then went into the sales office and told Sammy Fox, "Uhh...S.J. I think you need to come out here"...
...It needs no explaining from that point on.

Sammy Janson Fox had to move away from New Mexico to Florida to get another car dealer's license where he set up shop, as Sammy's Wheel Ranch, to continue business as usual as a used car dealer.

The End