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[P] Pride by Mortimus

[P] Pride

Mortimus

Happy pride! It's a month about living authentically, so with that said, going forward I want to dedicate to they/them pronouns. It's probably not that big of a surprise since I've been quietly shifting that sort of thing online, but I guess maybe I'm declaring it 'official' now. I came out as nonbinary my first time around (they/them pronouns included) but was shoved into the trans man label thanks to the mess of transmedicalism floating around in queer/medical communities alike and the general rejection from binary folks. I think I've carried the trans man label without wanting it for a while now and I think it's time I embraced being nonbinary instead. No more hiding. 🖤🤍💚

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    I'm not surprised, I feel like it makes a lot more sense.

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      Haha, yeah... I kind of used to describe myself as noncommittally holding onto he/him and the trans man label by settling on ousting terms I didn't like and using he/they. Predictably when presented the choice, nearly everyone would choose he/him and well. A lot of things were pointing to the fact that maybe I shouldn't be doing that to myself for the sake of ease.

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        Before I eventually snapped and pulled the trigger on coming out as a trans man (I am on the flip side, very binary) I mascaraded as a form of "nonbinary" identifying as androgynous (years before most other GNC language became mainstream) and told people they could call me whatever they wanted or whatever was easiest. If there's one thing I learned it's that going with what makes other people more comfortable probably isn't what's best for you. Most people upon meeting me were either confused as to whether I was a guy or girl and would default to male pronouns, but after learning I was born female from others would cease and use only female pronouns. As less and less people used male pronouns, I eventually hit a breaking point and that's when I fully came out. But again this was before nonbinary stuff and really trans stuff in general went mainstream, so gender neutral pronouns were hardly a concept to a majority of people, even in the LGBT center I used to go to.

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          I never understand people that will gender you correctly until they find out what your gender was at birth. Especially if they have only known you as the gender you are and never knew you before. It's nuts. Yeah, I guess on technicality when I came out, I didn't have the words 'nonbinary,' 'agender,' 'neutrois' so I had told people that I was gender neutral or that I didn't have a gender. I had picked singular they because at the time it made sense to me (I had actually gotten into a fight with my philosophy professor on whether I should be saying they vs. he/she in my papers at the time. He'd literally cross out every they/them/theirs and put he/she, him/her, his/her and take off points for it.). I liked not being he or she, but when push came to shove everyone around me was only familiar with binary transition and used 'he' and applied 'trans man' to me because they couldn't wrap their mind around being neither. Also since I lived in SC, and it was nearly a decade a go, I had to go with the trans male thing so I could actually receive the treatment I needed to transition. So yeah, it's not done much for me, but I feel like not trying for what feels right shouldn't be how I go about it... It only took me a long time to get here again haha.