Thank you for sharing this. I feel in no way qualified to comment on the content, but I have noticed, that much like Shakespeare, poetry has a different...feel...when it is heard as opposed to read. Have you considered doing an audio version of this poem?

I am strongly reminded of poetry of someone I knew intimately, many years ago. This is a good thing :) It also reminds me strongly of one of my characters, which is a very good thing (in my view, anyway).

As for the requested critique: The poem seems to not quite sure what genre it is; the first bit is religious solipsism, the other is fantastical, followed by longing (and a bit of self-pity). This is not a bad thing, just a bit unexpected; the "What is my life..." seems like it could be a separate poem.