The Knot by Lunostophiles (critique requested)

The Knot (critique requested)

Lunostophiles

4 April 2014 at 02:11:45 MDT

My vacation to California was great! It also made me think about a lot of things.

On my way home from the airport, back in Massachusetts, I felt the urge to write, so...have phone, will poet.

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Category:
Literary / Poetry / Lyrics

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    Thank you for sharing this. I feel in no way qualified to comment on the content, but I have noticed, that much like Shakespeare, poetry has a different...feel...when it is heard as opposed to read. Have you considered doing an audio version of this poem?

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    I am strongly reminded of poetry of someone I knew intimately, many years ago. This is a good thing :) It also reminds me strongly of one of my characters, which is a very good thing (in my view, anyway).

    As for the requested critique: The poem seems to not quite sure what genre it is; the first bit is religious solipsism, the other is fantastical, followed by longing (and a bit of self-pity). This is not a bad thing, just a bit unexpected; the "What is my life..." seems like it could be a separate poem.