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Insipid 002 by Lunaris Parukia

Insipid 002

Lunaris Parukia

INSIPID-2



Arachnia Insulsus Infernalis
Tortula Family


The Insipid is an arachnid-like Infernal creature that prefer to live in rugged, mountainous areas within the Infernal Realm.
They make theirs nests within dark caverns, where they use their webbing to seal off the entrance.


The webbing of the Insipid is exceptionally strong. It is proportionally stronger than diamond.
The organs necessary for the production of the webbing lies both in the abdominal area and the head area. It is thus able to produce webbing from both its mouth and its rear.
These organs can rapidly produce webbing, approximately 10 000 times faster than the average, normal spider.
The force used to eject the webbing is so extremely powerful, the Insipid can cover an area of the size of the width of the Grand Canyon within seconds.
It is for this reason that in typical Infernal armies, the role of the Insipid is to build bridges across chasms, transporting the rest of the army.


The majority of the abdominal area is hollow, and forms the nest of the Insipid’s offspring. Millions of infant Insipid usually resides within this abdominal region.
The abdominal region is also flexible, increasing in capacity as more infant Insipid are present.
Due to this, however, the Insipid is severely weighed down and cannot move fast.
However, when faces with mortal danger, the Insipid can rupture the abdominal region, leaving the infants to assault the attacker while the adult Insipid can make a quick escape.
Because many of the Insipid’s forms of attacks lie in the abdominal region, the Insipid loses offensive capabilities when rupturing its abdomen.


The Insipid’s diet consists of various life forms, but the majority of the nutrients go to the offspring.
The Insipid usually swallows its prey whole, using a paralyzing venom that incapacitates the target. The prey cannot move whatsoever under the effects of this venom, but is fully aware of being eaten alive and whole.
The countless infant Insipid within then assimilates the prey, acting as the digestive system of the host Insipid.
The venom keeps the prey alive until its fundamental organs are damaged enough. The prey is fully aware of being consumed until that point.


The surface of the abdominal region has a pattern resembling a face, used for intimidation.
The very surface has a special membrane that always makes it appear as if the eyes of the face pattern are looking into the direction of the observer.


- Cooking -


True to its name, the Insipid lacks any distinctive flavor or nutrients.
Despite this, Insipid makes for a novelty dish served to only the richest of gourmets.


Slow cook the abdominal sack carefully, as the sack is very fragile and is easily ruptured. Thorough cooking is required to neutralize the venom within, which can then be used as gravy.


Knead the eyes into a gelatinous mass, and then slowly pour the neutralized pink venom in the bowl with the eyes while stirring.
When everything is mixed, put the gravy in the fridge to give it slightly more mass.


Grill the legs on high temperature, and top it off with lemon juice. This will keep the outside of the legs nice and crispy and the inside juicy and creamy.


At this point, take the gravy out of the fridge and warm it back up.


The infants are best stir-fried with fresh vegetables. However, the meat is just as flavorless and lacking in nutrients as the adult Insipid.
Optional: remove the legs of the infant Insipid, as they may appall some guests.


Once all is done, one should now have a pristine white-colored Insipid if the cooking procedure went well.
Serve everything on the table, and then finally add the gravy.


I would say bon appétit, but truth to be told, you’d probably be better off ordering a pizza and just eating the cardboard box that comes with it, as that has more flavor and nutrients than the Insipid has.

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