Raccoons and toddlers: two of the most destructive creatures ever to ever exist, rolled into one embodiment of pure unadulterated mischief and destruction.
No babysitter can control him.
No playpen can contain him.
No time out corner can tame him.
No family heirloom is safe. No snack can satisfy his hunger. No TV show can distract him. No pacifier can quiet him.
Rules are made to be broken, just like everything else in the house.
Raccoon Toddler: The Terrible Twos.
His name is Filbert, by the way.