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Conner's Motivations, Including... by Lesley_BW

6:00AM

His burden, responsibility
The sun had not yet risen. Woken by his alarm clock, Conner Reinsberg sat up in bed briefly, slapped the snooze button, and then fell back under the covers. He vaguely calculated the exact length of time he could sleep in and still have enough time to get ready, see his younger siblings off to school and still be at work on time. Although more hardworking then most, even he had days when waking up seemed like more of a chore then it was worth.

He was considering how much time he could add to his sleeping-in session by making his middle brother Dale prepare breakfast when his cellphone rang. After letting it go for a few moments, he got up again and wearily grabbed it off the nightstand beside his bed, squinting in the light from the screen trying to read the message. As he did so though, his tired frown turned into an energetic smile. He bounced up, practically dropping his phone on the table in the process, next to an old, much-loved Courage the Cowardly Dog plushie flopped over on its side. No more slacking off. There were things to be done today, and now he had all the motivation he needed for the moment.

After showing and getting dressed, Conner stood in front of the bathroom mirror staring into space at his reflection. The initial excitement of that text message had faded from importance and now he was just sleepy again, drifting in and out of wakefulness. At only 19 Conner was far more worn out then many people twice his age. For the last thirteen years of his life he'd been the man of the house, the responsibility of caring for his brothers falling squarely on his shoulders while his mother worked throughout the week to support them all. He'd been forced to grow up quickly to compensate; far too quickly, and on days like this it showed on his face and in all of his actions.

6:30AM

His brothers, Dale and Sheridan

A loud, rude knock on the door suddenly made him jump, displacing all of his various tired thoughts in an instant.

"You better not be dead in there, man. If you are then I'll have to make breakfast." It was Dale, yelling at him from the other side of the door, eager to get ready for his own day. Unlike his older brother, Dale never seemed to be have any problems with self-motivation. Indeed, it was patience that he was severely lacking for. The two oldest Reinsberg boys were in this way, and many others, complete opposites. Conner was gentle and laid back; Dale was fiery and excitable.

Even in appearance, they didn't much resemble brothers- Conner was tall and lanky, and Dale was stocky, one of the many fairly short men of their mother's family. Both brothers had dark skin, but Conner was far more clearly biracial, an amalgamation of his black father and white mother. Dale strongly favored the boys' father, Charles, a firefighter who had lost his life in the line of duty when they were both young. Despite their differences, both of his older sons were united in their aspirations to emulate him, sometimes to the point of rivalry.

"Just a sec." Conner was used to this kind of wisecracking, and usually reacted to it with nonchalance. He quickly brushed his long hair into a ponytail like he did each day and then hurried out the door, haphazardly throwing a clean towel at Dale's face as he did so. Dale responded to this by swearing and trying to throw it back at him, but Conner had already disappeared down the stairs.

Downstairs, the youngest Reinsberg boy, Sheridan, was already seated at the table. He never seemed to sleep well and was often up and ready long before the other two, although unlike Dale he never seemed impatient about it.

"Mornin' Dandan." Conner scruffed Sheridan's hair affectionately as he passed by the dining room into the kitchen. Unlike Conner and Dale, Sheridan was light skinned, and a redhead. The difference in appearance between them mattered little to his big brothers, who both treated him with a doting adoration that they never showed each other. He was considerably younger then the two of them, and they had practically raised him themselves.

"Eggs and toast?" Sheridan called from his chair.

"Sure." Conner yelled back, already knowing exactly how both of his brothers would want their eggs done.

7:20AM

His job, the convenience store
He arrived at the convenience store nearly ten minutes before it was ready to open for the day, and flopped down in the chair behind the counter. It was still dark, and he leaned back, looking up at the ceiling but closing his eyes. There was no more school for Conner, only work, and the hope that his extra income would help ease some of the burden on his mother paying for Dale and Sheridan to go to college. His mother had almost certainly put pressure on him to do this, but it was decision he would have made on his own anyways. Even with all the scholarships in the world, he would still have been unsure what, exactly, he wanted to do with his life.

"Conner?"
He opened his eyes to the sound of gentle rapping on the glass, and that familiar, soft-spoken voice calling his name in a way that still made him blush.

After a few moments he spun out of his chair, and at the door he met a young man close to his own age, about the same height as he was, with broad shoulders and neatly trimmed dark brown hair.

"Ah, good morning Vaughn." Conner put a hand on the other young man's shoulder and smiled warmly.

It was an extremely mild gesture compared to what he wanted, the intensity of emotion nearly overwhelming him. In all technicality, Vaughn was Conner's boss, and their mannerisms deliberately reserved in this professional setting. It was hard to hold back, especially when both of them felt the importance of this day, but they had to get through their shift first. It was hard to say what kind of trouble, if any, would happen should they be found out here.

"Good morning to you too, Conner." Vaughn reflected the smile, and the withheld eagerness, back at him. He moved to walk away, toward his back office room, but then stopped suddenly in his tracks.

Butterflies erupted in Conner's stomach as his boyfriend pulled him close and planted a kiss on his cheek, cutting through the tension in the room like a knife.

4:30PM

His boyfriend, Vaughn
"Tell me the story. I want to hear it from you, the way you tell it."

Light flitted down from the trees to the park bench where Conner was nestled into Vaughn's side, quiet, but smiling from ear to ear.

"Well!" He responded to the request to hear the story of how they'd gotten to this point with great enthusiasm.

"It was a couple of months after I started working at the store, near the end of our shift...Dale and Dandan had been out riding bikes and stopped by to get sodas. Dale must have found that old Courage doll I carried around with me when I was a kid, he brought it in and was teasing me about still having it around. You know how he can be. After I finally got him to leave, I was sitting behind the counter looking all mad and flustered, and you came up to me and I was embarrassed because I knew you heard the whole thing."

A brief pause, and then Vaughn looked at him with an expectant gesture.

"Well, go on. What happened next?"

"Then you said, 'Wow Conner, I didn't know you liked that show too!' and I couldn't believe it because I thought I was the only one. And even though I was still really bothered by what happened you invited me over to marathon it with you. I almost didn't go but my mom talked me into it. She's persuasive like that."

"You were just being shy because you thought I was cute even then."

"Well..." Conner's voice dropped off. He looked at the ground. "...Yeah."

"I know." Vaughn was suddenly tender in a way that seemed to come more naturally to him then teasing. "I liked you too. But we were both afraid. We didn't know how our parents would be back then." Then he thought for a moment.

"And how'd we find out we both liked each other?"

Conner sat up a little bit, giddy.

"That's the best part of the story. We stayed up really late and watched a lot of episodes of Courage, until we got to the two-part special...the one with the cat lady and the rabbit lady who're gay for each other."

He laughed a little, but then became solemn.

"And...when it got to the end, you put your hand on top of mine...and we were both so scared that we were crying...we turned the TV off for a while and just sat in the dark. That's when you told me-"

"-That I thought I was falling in love with you."

Unexpectedly, Conner felt something soft and furry slip into his hand. It took a moment for him to register the sensation fully, and another moment to look down. It was, of all things, a mouse toy, made for a cat to play with. He turned it in his hand slowly, a look of recognition dawning on him as he did so.

"It's finally been a whole year since we quit wearing those masks, Kitty." And then Vaughn just smiled.

Conner's Motivations, Including...

Lesley_BW

Migrating my short stories from DA

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