Okay, Context. This was posted on December 30, 2014. Yes, it was about Leelah's punching her own ticket out of the town we call life. I'm reposting it here because of rumours running around about the Staff deleting anything touching on Leelah's death. This was a personal journal post I shared with the world, and I want to make sure it stays shared. I even added parts after the fact when I reblogged it. Also, Trigger warning about suicide and implied erasure.
It was cold today.
That’s how I will remember it.
I got out the door around 7 a.m. and ended up in the middle of the highland desert in Winter. It was brutal. Winds so strong they had to re-route buses and other such high profile vehicles between Salt Lake and Weber county so they wouldn’t be blown over. The wind chill was unimaginable and me without anything to save my ears. I was thankful to get to work safely.
It was brutal today.
We ended up 50 in queue often enough that it made me frustrated. Even when I got off the phones to work as a knowledge expert, I ended up taking calls because it was that swamped. I ran into people who didn’t know how to do their job and our sup call line was backed up and under staffed.
But it was cold today.
I learned of someone who died by committing suicide and stepping infront of a truck. I learned of a sister that I will never have the pleasure of meeting because she punched her own ticket out of here. I learned of a sister who with her death wanted to make a statement that is sealing this unholy year of 2014 shut.
Everything after learning that had more of a razor’s sharpness to it.
It reminded me that we can’t save everyone, but that is no excuse to stop trying. It reminds me that I still have a lot of growing to do, and that I still can feel as deeply as I once did. I pray Leelah is learning of God’s true love in the next life, instead of the counterfeit her parents handed her. I pray she makes the friends she needed up there, instead of the ones she got down here. Most of all, I just pray she’s safe and at peace now.
This world is a cold one.
It is cold and brutal and dangerous. If we don’t stand together, we can never endure to the end. Regardless of how you find them, who they are, or how strange they maybe, may you find your beloved family. May they be closer than scales on a lizard, and stronger than Covalent bonds. Make 2015 a year to remember, and to hold together. Never ever be discouraged by how impossible the road ahead of you is. You live now, where the impossible is made possible every minute. So lets do the impossible, always.
We have done it before, we did the impossible, and that makes us mighty. Lets just do it again and make 2015 a year of good news.
Added as of February 8th 2015
Considering I have been hearing rumors of Staff deleting any post of Leelah, I want my journal to have some proof it exists. I also want to add this:
I will never be erased. I will always yell. You can never silence me.
Quit trying too.
This might be her parents vieing for the right to be forgotten or the right of oblivion, but this event is our history as well as your own. We have a right to remember as we will. I apologize if this is painful, but we will remember December 30, 2014.
Joined 12 September 2013