Mike Fang was kind enough to commission this scene featuring my Werehouse character, Bouncer, the beefy smilodon. He's working (his jaws) hard at the gym and drawing shameless stares from a burly bear and gawking gazelle. At his side is Mike himself, gumshoe-cum-personal-trainer and dauntless devotee to the anti-Atkins approach to hard-core mass-building.

Bouncer's been so thoroughly stuffed with "POWER BEER" (America's favorite fermented protein shake) and pizza (square, deep dish, no box-space wasted) that he's swelling up all over... WITH FITNESS! That lap-smothering, keg-grade muscle-gut is the secret to his award-winning leg definition. This will all be covered in our upcoming exercise series, "Mo Dough, Mo Swole!" (in the VHS bin at your local thrift store).