Commissioned by HonorableThief!

Lt. Tapetum doesn't exactly give off the vibe of an experienced tactician. His appetite is legendary, and it seems like he spends a questionable amount of time in rec chambers when he's not active. He also has a habit of making wisecracks (even regardless whether or not his superiors are out of earshot), and this has earned him vent scrubbing duty on more than one occasion. But this raccoon's seen action on over twenty worlds, and when you're about to do a blind orbital drop onto hot soil in a hostile sector, sometimes a smartaleck can be just what you need to lighten the mood. Just remember to bring extra rations.