SAT-IZ - Scene 5

Written by Iron-K, 2011

Featuring Robshi - http://www.furaffinity.net/user/robshi

As the credits for the first cartoon of the morning sped across the Sat-AM studio's huge screen, the lights on the ceiling rack came back up and swung inwards, picking out the cat and squirrel as they raced across the open centre of the room to take their places on the long couch underneath them.

"Good morning!" the black squirrel called, cupping her hands to her mouth and drawing the words out as she shouted above the cheering of the audience on the multi-tiered stands around them. "I'm Kass, this is Jayce - it's Saturday, it's just gone twenty past nine, and you're in the best place for it!"

"Yes, you are - this week, we're going to have the Blizzarddogs answering your questions in the studio, and giving us a preview of their new single at the end of the show..." Jayce, the blue cat, ran his fingers through his side-spiked hairstyle as he got up from the sofa, pointing back at the screen as it showed a shot of the band. "But just before they come on, it's time for a game..."

He raised his arms and grinned at the noise from the stands, turning around and flopping back sideways on to the sofa with one leg across the seat as the now familiar yellow logo swooped on to the screen across a dripping green background.

"I think they know what's coming!" the black squirrel smiled over at him.

"Oh, they do..." Jayce stretched, then addressed the camera again. "For those of you with TVs in their rooms who are still lounging around in bed - which will be most of our student audience - if that didn't wake you up, then perhaps this will... good morning, Alex!"

As the two of them turned around to look up at the logo on the bank of screens behind them, it dissolved away to reveal Alex, with his back to the camera, tapping at some sort of measuring instrument on the rusty back wall.

"Morning!" the red wolf said brightly over his shoulder, then turned fully to the camera with a glance back at the meter. "I've just been doing my rounds of the depth gauges and looks like I'm about... two hundred feet below you just now - so I hope your studio's on a high floor somewhere, otherwise that means we're sinking..." He paced along the corridor as he spoke, stepping past a six foot high cubicle against the wall and leaning casually on the lever sticking out of the ground next to it. "We're down in the undersea level - and in the gunge tank this week, please welcome Robshi!"

The blue dragon inside the booth kept his eyes on Alex's dangerously-positioned hand, wriggling a little to the side nervously as he tapped his fingers on the arms of the booth's plastic seat. The red wolf looked down as he brought his pocket computer out, reading from its screen as he straightened up.

"Robshi's 23 years old, he's studying mathematics - in his spare time he enjoys video, board and trading card games - so the whole spectrum there - and he's also a fan of anime," he finished, looking up from his screen. "We had a big anime fan on last week, and she actually won her game... how are you feeling, confident that you can do the same?"

"Um..." The blue dragon cleared his throat a little as he paused, his hands wringing on top of his black swimming shorts. "Yeah, I... maybe," he said with a nod, his eyes still flitting around the tank. A collection of pipes led from its walls and ceiling, disappearing into the wall behind it.

"Good! It's more fun when you think you've got a chance of escaping clean," Alex responded, grinning at the dragon's cringe. "But that's not what we're going to be quizzing you on this morning - you're going to have to use some mental skills from the subject that you're studying to get out of there..."

He leaned around into the tank and pointed down at the device mounted at the top of the door in front of the contestant. "Robshi, I'm going to give you ninety seconds - when time starts, you can stop the gunge tank by entering eight codes into the keypad in front of you," he said, pointing at the numeric buttons on its keypad. "I'm going to give you clues as to what each of those codes are in turn, and you've just got to punch them in. Take care, though, because if you enter a wrong code, you're going to lose ten seconds from the timer, and that's something you really can't afford if you want to avoid the gunge..."

"Okay..." The dragon nodded in the pause in Alex's explanation, looking down at the LCD screen of the keypad in front of him and resting his hand on its side.

"You'll also have two chances to skip codes and have them entered for you, by pressing either of the buttons on top of the keypad," the red wolf said as he indicated the two domed triggers mounted side by side on the waist-high door of the tank, sets of brightly colored parallel wires leading down from them to the floor. "But of course... they're going to have consequences, so use them wisely," he continued, and chuckled as the blue dragon nodded hesitantly, his eyes tilting up once again to the mechanism above his head.

Alex stepped in front of the tank, and took a few steps back from it. "Forgive me if I keep my distance here..." he laughed, and the dragon smiled nervously back at him. "How are you feeling about the gunge, by the way?"

"Er..." The contestant glanced around at the pipes surrounding him once more. "I... I'm not sure..." he finished with a weak smile.

"Well, you'd better decide quickly... ninety seconds, here we go!" Alex brought his minicomputer up as the room lights dimmed, leaving the blue dragon glancing nervously from side to side under a soft white light from the tank's ceiling. "The first code - it's just two digits long, and you can get it by starting from 100 and subtracting 7 seven times." He held his hand out to Robshi for a moment, prompting him to look down at the keypad.

The blue dragon breathed out, staring down at the panel. "A hundred... ninety-three... no, wait..." He muttered under his breath before pausing, closing his eyes, then he tapped out the number 51 on the panel and twitched as it emitted an electronic bell noise.

"That's right! They're going to get harder, though..." Alex flicked his thumb across the scroll wheel of his pocket device. "Code two - the factorial of five... the product of all numbers from 1 to 5," he continued as the reptilian looked to the ceiling, silently thinking for a few seconds before carefully tapping a number out and smiling as the sound effect played again.

"Good, this is quick! Okay, code three - in computers, the prefix "mega" doesn't mean "million", it means the power of two nearest that number - what is it?"

"Ahh..." A whimper came from the blue dragon's mouth as he closed his eyes and hunched down on the chair a little, freezing for a moment before his lips started moving, doubling the number in his head each time. Alex watched for a few moments as the contestant pointed to the fingers of one hand to keep count, hanging on to his middle finger as he faltered.

Seeing him shake his head and start again, the red wolf stepped forward. "Come on, you've got to use one of these some time!" he said, and slammed his hand down on to the yellow button.

"N...!" The dragon squeaked reflexively, putting his hand out as Alex dodged back, then folded his arms inwards, glancing around in a panic just before a column of bright yellow gunge spewed out of the nozzle above him and broke over his head in an opaque dome. There was a yelp from behind the gloppy downpour, his blue muzzle poking through the downpour before he quickly snapped it shut, his shoulders beginning to shake in a nervous laugh as thick dollops of the gloop rolled off the sides of his head and down to splat on his upper chest.

As the downpour slowly subsided, the heavy gunge slipping down and spattering across his shoulders, the dragon brought his hands up to his eyes, wiping across them and flicking the yellow stuff to the floor before tenting both hands over his forehead, blinking against the gooey strings of slime slipping over him. He let out a whimpering laugh, looking back up at Alex with a shudder.

The red wolf kept looking at his handheld computer, not glancing up as strings of goo stretched down from the tank's nozzle, spattering gently on the dragon's head. "So, number four..." he began calmly. Listening intently, the blue dragon entered two more codes correctly with some hesitation, and looked up again as Alex prepared to read the sixth out.

"After the starting '3'... enter the next five digits of pi," Alex prompted him. He looked up and gave a laugh as the contestant sighed, slumping down slightly in his chair.

The dragon thought for a moment, staring at the panel in front of him and tapping out three digits before hesitating. As his finger hovered, his eyes flicked up to the green dome-shaped button, still raised and flashing. A sheepish grin formed on his face, and he leaned forwards, shuddering as the opaque yellow slime slipped around him with his movement, to cup his hand over the top of it. Hunching his shoulders, he cringed as he pushed it down.

A hissing noise burst from the front of the tank, and the dragon flinched backwards as two jets of green foam erupted towards him, catching the end of his muzzle just before he drew backwards and wriggled as the stuff spewed over his lap and tummy. He held his hands up instinctively to block the jets, then gradually drew them up out of the way, watching as the bubbly mixture splatted over him, and jerked his head back as the streams shot up to his chest. He closed his eyes as the stuff cascaded out from him, slapping against the walls and floor and leaving behind a thick green layer on his skin. He laughed through his squeamish expression as the jets shut off, poking at the thick foamy layer coating him with a finger, before wiping the end of his muzzle with the back of his hand as Alex spoke up again.

"Okay, we're on code seven but you're out of skips - we're going to have to hurry!" the red wolf announced rapidly as a couple of yellow warning lights blinked into life on the tank's back wall, the timer creeping closer to zero. The dragon shook his head and did his best to straighten up as he read out the next question "The next one, listen carefully - using each number for its letter of the alphabet, so button one is 'a', button two is 'b', and so on... enter the word 'headache'."

The dragon moved his hand up to pinch his forehead as he concentrated, but he quickly brought it down again with a grimace as he felt the gunge mixture squish between his fingers. Holding them apart as he looked down at the panel, he used one slimy forefinger to tap out the digits.

"Fitting word, isn't it?" Alex said with a smile as he looked nonchalantly up at the timer. The blue dragon nodded, then looked his answer over again and tapped the Enter key, but jerked back as a buzzer sounded, followed by a low repeating alarm as the warning lights behind him changed to red.

"Sorry, Robshi...!" Alex called, and held his hand out towards the booth as the dragon inside looked up at him, his face going from shock to an anxious grin. "That's ten seconds off, that noise means you've run out of time, and..."

He broke off as two waves of white foam spilled from the large pipes behind the dragon, forming huge waves over his shoulders and making him duck forwards under their weight. As the white stuff spewed over him, absorbing the color of the green and yellow mixture and spattering outwards as it caught on his shoulders, he hunched himself up and turned his palms upward to catch the flecks of it dripping around his neck, then shook both hands to send it to the floor. He smiled at the bottom of the booth as the off-white foam began to quickly fill it, curling his toes back and forward as the ooze squished between them.

He dared to look upwards at the mechanism above him, but closed his eyes and faced forwards as there was a heavy clunk from the tank's ceiling. A wide sheet of opaque dark green gunge dropped from the nozzle, and as the goo smacked on to his head, his gasp was just visible before the stuff formed an upturned bowl shape around him. As he tilted his head slightly to the side, the gooey dome shifted, smacking on to the sides of the tank and painting the clear plastic with bright arc shapes.

A thinner stream sputtered into life from the top left corner of the tank, splashing on to the dragon's shoulder, and a second later a third one started pouring in from the opposite side, flicking through the heavy flying slime. They splattered a lighter green color across him, which dripped in two stripes down his arms as he hunched inwards, half-folding his arms across his chest and watching the slippery gunge pour through his fingers.

He bowed his head down as the streams crossed back and forwards across his head, a squeamish grin just visible on his muzzle through the flying slime. He jerked his hands up as the off-green mixture of gungy foam reached the backs of his hands, bubbling up over his waist and splatting heavily to the floor as it spilled over the door of the tank. There was a yelp as the two side streams were aimed directly at his head, mixing together to envelop him in a huge wave of gunge. As the main downpour slowed, the shape of the horns on his head became visible through the flood before it separated and broke into three streams again.

A final klaxon blared as the gungy downpour from the ceiling eased back, forming a series of heavy drops splatting on to the messy dragon, his head painted almost entirely with the dark green gunk. He whimpered and wriggled as the two diagonal streams also sputtered and ran out, pouring their lighter color over his shoulders and down his arms as he raised them to the sides. He instinctively raised his hands to his face as his sloppy hair slipped down and hung across his eyes, but kept them away as he realized they were coated in foam and gunge. Silently laughing helplessly, he shook his head and then looked up at Alex, long green strings of slime dripping from all over him.

"Robshi, you did pretty well under the circumstances, but... as you know, you failed to stop the gunge tank," Alex smiled as he ducked down, trying to see under the slimy dragon's soaked hair to make eye contact with him. "Are you okay under all that?"

"Yeah." He managed a laugh despite his shortness of breath, bowing his head forward and watching the green gunge pour off his hair and around his shoulders, holding his foam-covered hands up in front of him.

"We'll get you out of there and down to the reserve water supplies to get cleaned up - if we're still attached to the rest of the complex, that is, otherwise we're going to have a lot of this stuff to swim through..." He leaned in and put his hand down on the dragon's head, bringing his hand up and flicking the clinging gunge back at him. "Jayce and Kass, are you still there?"

As the point of view switched back to the studio, the camera pulled back from a view of the bank of monitors, where the dragon was still dripping with gunge inside the tank. Kass led the cheer from the audience as Jayce turned away from the screens.

"Yes, we're here - best of luck with that, Alex...!" he smiled as he called over the noise of the studio audience. "And we're hoping he rescues the Industrial Zone - or... well, maybe we're not, are we, Kass?" He glanced over to his squirrel co-presenter, who cringed a little with a nod.

"We are, because in a few weeks' time we're going to have a very special episode of Saturday IZ..." The black squirrel faced the camera and sighed as she read the next line of the autocue. "Because we... are going to be gunged!" she announced, putting both hands up in the air as she flopped back on to the sofa.

"That's right..." Jayce smiled, smiling at the uproarious cheer from their audience, and started again. "That's right - thanks to the people upstairs..." He looked across at Kass, who nodded, and shook her fist at the ceiling - "Alex is going to drag us down there in a few weeks' time, and you're going to get to decide how it happens!"

Kass cleared her throat and looked out at the main camera as the screen behind them showed a slow-motion clip from the same section a few weeks before, with a young foam-coated wolf being covered in a huge column of gunge from the ceiling of a futuristic-looking capsule. "If you want this to happen to us in the shuttle cockpit," she read out, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder, "then call S-A-T-A-M and 01".

Jayce took over as the background changed to show a laughing, shrieking catgirl in a slowly spinning chair, her fur color hidden under layers of murky slime with even more ribbons of the stuff being poured on to her from nozzles at the back and ceiling of the curved enclosure behind her. "Call with the number 02 if you want to see us taking a spin in the Gunkpipe..." He turned and grinned at the screen, despite a visible shudder. "Which looks like... one part of it might be fun..."

"Or to send us for a dip in the gunge vat..." The squirrel girl cringed with a nervous smile as she watched the replay of a coyote girl being tipped forwards and splashing mightily into a pool of green slime set into the floor, "...it's that same number and 03," she finished, watching the close-up of the gungy canine bobbing up from beneath the surface. "Or if you want us to stay clean..."

"No, sadly there's no number for that," Jayce shook his head, and ran his hand over his sideways-spiked hairstyle. "The lines should be open now, and they'll stay that way until we total them up in a few short weeks! Kass, which one do you prefer out of those?"

"I don't know..." The black squirrel girl looked up at the screen again as the clips played in sequence. "If I say to them, then they'll just put us in something even worse!" she said, pointing out at the studio audience.

"I think you could be right there..." Jayce chuckled and nodded at their reaction. "Do you want to move on - take our minds off it?" he asked her, kicking his feet up as he leaned sideways on the arm of the couch.

"Yeah, let's do that," she nodded. "Here's what's still to come this morning..."