About 6 years ago this month had it not been for someone getting a hold of me, I would not be here. This has been a rough month yet again but still not like before. Getting fired from a job I gave 3 years to sucks ass. A fucking ulcer that makes me feel hungry and I can't tell if I'm starving or if I've eaten too much, also sucks. This is the first time in over a week that I've fallen asleep before the sun came up and not stayed in bed until it was nearly down again. Today maybe I'll eat more than once or twice. I'm still an apathetic piece of shit but I do have one thing that keeps me going all the time and in case anyone worries, it should be another 8 or so years. Sometimes depression isn't about being too sad or hurt to continue. It's about not giving a shit to stay here. It's about wanting desperately to see something else because frankly our world is falling to shit. I've deleted half of this several times while trying to find some way to end this on a positive note but I'm failing. Remember, someone out there loves you. Someone out there is going to miss you terribly when you're gone.