Sign In

Close
Forgot your password? No account yet?

Joe Mallard for President by GuineaPigDan

Joe Mallard for President

GuineaPigDan

4 November 2020 at 01:27:12 MST

Suddenly out of the blue, the mascot of Fowl Cigarettes Inc, Joe Mallard, has announced his run for president in 2024, 2028, 2032, or whatever year you see this in. Joe is tired of seeing brainless celebrities run for office, so he thought for a change how about have a celebrity that's intelligent run for office? His policies will include exiling the cast of Duck Dynasty to the Moon, banning all hunting of ducks (hunting of other birds he's ok with though, sorry), changing the national bird from the bald eagle to the duck, packing the courts and congress with more ducks, free cigarettes for all school children, and reducing the United States to only 12 states like the number of stars on this flag. Why do we need two Dakotas, two Carolinas, Two Virginias, and a NEW York and NEW Mexico? Just merge some states together and stick to only having Old Mexico and Old York. And to cover all his bases, he'll simultaneously run for president in Canada, Mexico, the UK, Russia, and many many other countries. If you run in enough places, you're bound to get lucky somewhere! So please vote for the Fowl Political Party next election.

Comments

  • Link

    This is a very silly image but honestly I'm up for reducing the number of states to 12 like Canada only has 10 provinces and 3 territories and that's already a lot to remember.