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the night my blood betrays me by DOXOlove

the night my blood betrays me

DOXOlove

When surrounded by myself, and only myself, I start to think

Think a lot.

About everything and anything. I think about who I am, what I am, who I can be… Or what will happen when I’m no longer the person I currently am. Sometimes I get scared. Depressed. A heavy weight in my mind that may clog all my other senses, the thoughts that make the feeling dissipate, warmth, certainty. I forget…Where I am. It’s an uncontrollable state of mind, a numbing cold which brings forth the terrors of the dark.

I have many nightmares.

I sometimes dream that my very own blood may betray me if I’m not careful… If I don’t find that shelter and immediate release from the terrors that plague my heart. I fear it will eat and consume all that I am and all that I will be.

Most important, I fear it will take her away from me.

I feel like that thought, most of all, is somehow very important.

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