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Death of Death by Dominicus (critique requested)

 I was second in line as everyone around me panicked.  No one knew what was going on as we received handguns with one clip each. They were tiny and black and each magazine had 17 shots in it. I wasn’t a gun enthusiast so I had no idea what the model was, I just grabbed it because I KNEW what was going to happen next.  I turned around and saw some familiar faces; all with expressions of fear as they scurried around the room.  It was like watching wound up gadgets in a toy store.  There was a lot of talking.  Everyone rushed to set up barriers aimed away at the glass doors.


                I looked at them and sighed, why had no one bothered to barricade the front doors? They are made of glass! The doors will be the first point of entrance.  I noticed the glass walls around them had all been barricaded with a thin layer of boards and cardboard.  Since the walls were made of one foot squared, glass panes, that MIGHT be enough support.  I looked down at my gun and wondered if this was going to be it; if I was 17 gunshots away from death.

                Two people approached me.  “So Bill, are you going to save us? HA!”  A female voice said mocking me with a smile,  and then walked away.  Even before the end some people continue to be crass. My head jolted toward the noise of shattering glass.  Three zombies stumbled inside. , I don’t raise my gun because I fear others will fire in a disorganized fashion. So I need to conserve my ammo. I knelt and looked behind me.  ,  I spied the one we all called ‘Death’ in our colony. He had short black hair, a black cape wrapped around his body, and  a hand scythe. He stared coldly at the zombies as if they were an abomination to him.


                I turned my attention back toward the screaming of bystanders fleeing gunfire, when all of a sudden, the gunshots stopped.   I noticed a zombie dressed in a green buttoned up pullover and another wearing a white t-shirt.  They were trying to break down the barricades.  With gun in hand, I quickly ran toward the enemies and as I tried to fire, the gun fell apart.  What the? A dud? Was it a malfunction? They kept tearing shit away and I looked around at the dead bodies and I realized there were children sitting against  a wall. I counted three.   I could see the look of defeat in their eyes. They were ready to die, they had given up… I couldn’t let that happen…


                That’s when I noticed it, a crowbar laying against a wall as if it was ready for me.  Grabbing it, I waved the crowbar  toward the first zombie, hitting him  in the left temple. One fourth of its head separated and the body fell over.   As I recoiled for the next attack I wondered, how could the zombies be so smart as to remove the barricade from inside?  Weren’t they supposed to be brainless consumers? Heaving my crowbar over my head, I swung again hitting the zombie in the head with a sickening  thud.  I forced my crowbar out of its head as I placed my left foot on its chest and it went limp. Turning, I witnessed a zombie feasting on a little girl. It had broken through the barricade to my right. I could hear the flesh being swallowed and savored as wet squishy sounds came from the fucker’s mouth.


                I swung the crowbar, striking the  zombie  in the head. The crowbar bounced off but still harmed him.  As the zombie lay bleeding, I tried hitting it again with the same result. Fuck, I thought to myself… I must be getting tired… this crowbar is getting heavy and I brought it down a third time hitting the zombie in the back of the skull exposing the brains and matter inside.  I covered my mouth in disgust and turned around to find  a checkered zombie lunging at me. I fell to the floor keeping  it at bay with the crowbar.  I put my hands on both ends, held my weapon up, and by pressing the  bar against the zombie’s neck,  I was able to lift it up and away from me and yelled for someone to shoot it.


                I was greeted by three shots from a handgun followed by  thick globs of blood and brains splattered over me. I pushed the zombie off and stood.  I could feel the gooey substance in my hair and on my face, but there was no time to worry about that, another zombie had stumbled inside.  Rushing toward it , I smashed the zombie in the face with the head of the crowbar. It stumbled into a piano that was being used as a barricade in the front. Just then, I noticed one of the children was right at its feet. Instinctively, I grabbed her by the shirt and threw her to the side for safety.


                Brandishing my crowbar at the zombie, it centered itself again and looked at me with a deep gash in its cheek.  The dark red blood, leaking from the wound was hitting the ground with a surprisingly sickening thud.   The smell  was so overwhelming that I felt like I was being choked. I noticed my crowbar and hands were covered in its squishy blood. Just then,  it lunged for me and I quickly dodged to the right; got behind it and swung the butt of the crowbar against the back of the zombie’s head breaking the lower back of its skull, its neck, and spine.  With one loud thud, it fell to the ground.


                I turned around and noticed there were not many people alive.  Those that were looked at me with mixed expressions of hope and terror. I ran to the front door to see what enemy I might be facing next.  There was a large group of zombies to my left attempting to gain entrance to a movie theater but the doors  weren’t budging. That’s when they noticed me and a few started my way. I quickly ran back inside.  This time I was ready to take on the leadership role and save these people.


                “Give me the damn key! We’re going in the back!” I yelled. Somehow I knew Death, who had the key, would be hesitant to give it up because that didn’t go with his ‘plan.’ But his plan already failed.   These people he wanted to save were now dead.   I yelled at him again as he slowly looked through his pockets. “I SAID GIVE ME THAT DAMN KEY, DEATH!!”  I noticed he was battered and bruised, he must’ve gotten injured during the assault. I took the key as he handed it to me with a smile.


                I unlocked the back door and was greeted by a small metal staircase.  I had everyone follow me that wanted.  When we got to the top I noticed I had left the key.  I pleaded with the children to follow which they gradually did, still with defeat in their eyes.  I noticed Death was lagging behind.  He looked up at me and with a frown on his face he shut the door with a locking sound.   At that moment, I thought… they defeated Death itself… do we stand no chance…

Death of Death (critique requested)


I had this dream and it was so cool that I ended up writing it down. :)

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Literary / Story

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