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Revolt of 64 by Corvid_Conquest (critique requested)

The Revolt of 64 (EN)

The Nobles are dancing on the table --
Jumping in and out of the action --
While the Clergy laughs
Beneath their long-range sighs,
And the Third-Estate
Is trampled underfoot.

The King in his castle,
Though relieved and celebratory,
Has neglected to structure
The soul of his nation.
He knows not how soon until...
Checkmate!

A Revolta de 64 (PT)

Dançam os Nobres sobre a mesa –
Pulando dentro e fora da cena –
Enquanto ri pobre Clero
Debaixo de seu suspiro eterno,
E onde o Terceiro Estado
Meramente é pisoteado

O Rei em seu castelo temido
Embora se sinta aliviado e comemorativo,
Tem negligenciado a estruturação
Da alma de sua grande nação
Não sabe ele do impensável...
Cheque-mate!

Revolt of 64 (critique requested)

Corvid_Conquest

8 September 2021 at 02:51:47 MDT

This is a free verse poem I wrote in English.

Portuguese Translation by YoshiroJr on Fur Affinity.

(Note: I'm still interested in translating this poem into other languages; particularly French, Russian, and Spanish.)