15 April 2017 at 18:11:56 MDT
Is your 'dox too big for his daily routines? Do they get stuck in door-frames, or under the bed? Do they require help to move even far enough to get to their food dish?
Never fear! FS Tech (that's for Fat Shadox!) has the solution for YOU!
Introducing the patent-pending space-saving Shadox-smoosher, the Ghost Press 9000! The Ghost Press 9000 is the easiest and safest way to compress your 'dox back to a more manageable size! Simply place your Shadox between the soft double-mounds that comprise the back of the press, then let the GP 9000 do the rest! Your Shadox's flabby body will be condensed over time by the press's dual-weighted surface, while the well-cushioned padding keeps your ghost-pup from feeling any discomfort! Sure, they'll be stuck there for a WHILE, but it's been scientifically proven that 9 out of 10 Shadoxes enjoy the safety-assured* experience!
Just call 1-800-FATDOX - yes, that's one eight-hundred F A T, D O X - to rent your Ghost Press 9000 today! Our certified technicians will bring your unit right to your door and even help set it up for you. But WAIT! Order soon and we'll even give you our slightly-more portable unit, the Ghost Press 2000, for absolutely FREE! This is a limited-time offer, so call 1-800-FATDOX today!
*Safety is only technically assured. Some (75%) of Shadoxes undergoing compression have been found to squish into the innards of the Ghost Press 9000 if left in the product's grasp for more than 2 minutes. Your Shadox is not likely to come to any harm within the GP 9000, but will become very slick and potentially be lost forever. FS Tech claims no liability for lost Shadoxes, but offers a 50% refund to customers with this issue, and a letter thanking you for your pet's contribution to the girth and power of the GP 9000.
Another butt-focused drawing by winged-kuriboh! Once more it involves Flare, his Shadox's, rump being well-oversized. At least he found a purpose for the large arse, bothering to found a company and offer his services to butt-squish other Shadoxes down to size! (He'll compress other pets, with an extra fee of course.)
Naturally, I was used in the testing phases of his new product...and given how flabby I am, I'll be against that GP 9000 for quite a while! So long, that I'll inevitably end up inside it. >//> At least there's a convenient glass wall so everybody can watch it happen...