Distance by Capps (critique requested)

A ticking tocking marathon
The hours running countlessly
For one with no comparison
The one that I want most to see
Is just too far away from me

Distance (critique requested)

Capps

15 November 2014 at 14:22:37 MST

A little cinquain I wrote while waiting for someone to get online I seriously wanted to talk to. Any feedback is appreciated!

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439
Comments:
2
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Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Poetry / Lyrics

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  • Link

    Nice job!

  • Link

    Ah yeah, I remember this feeling well - the seeming eternity between log ons. Nicely written :3