The Game I Play by Capps (critique requested)

The Game I Play

I'm brought to a halt
Like gears grinding
Just one more game...
I don't know when to stop

Like gears grinding
With every button press
I don't know when to stop
My hands betray me

With every button press
The pain increases
My hands betray me
Why continue?

The pain increases
Just one more game...
Why continue?
I'm brought to a halt

The Game I Play (critique requested)

Capps

11 August 2015 at 21:23:38 MDT

I do a lot of writing for various games in eSports, but the one I love the most is Super Smash Bros. The big problem is that I have nerve damage in my hands so that when I try to play it hurts a LOT, not to mention my hands just aren't as fast as other peoples. So on top of the pain, I go through a lot of mental stress wondering if it's even worth practicing, thoughts like I could never be as good as other people so why bother, and all that kind of stuff.

So I realized it would be smart to try and get this out on paper, so I wrote a pantoum. I'd love any feedback people could give me.

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Literary / Poetry / Lyrics