Sign In

Close
Forgot your password? No account yet?

Meerkat In Red by Browntail (critique requested)

Meerkat In Red

A lone lady, waiting for someone, waiting for love.
She's been there dozens of months in a row.
But no one goes to her. "Soon," She'd murr. "just soon."
Before her are many other furs, all now married, mated, and bound to lifetime of unbreakable romance.
Yet she still stands in the corner, waiting for her paw to be taken.

Even after the years ticked by, she still wears her old dress, her shoes lost, her jewelry stolen by those who mock her pain.
Yet she still stands there, waiting patiently for one to come.
"Someday," She whimpered, fighting a tear. "Someday."

Days passed.
Years Passed.

The ballroom has undergone many changes nowadays, despite the change of furnishing and upholstery, one thing hasn't changed.
At the midnight ball, a young lad looks over his list, checking all of the guests' arrivals.
In the corner of his eye, he sees a tall beautiful meerkat in an aged red dress, standing in the corner, waiting patiently.
Catching the fact he had never seen her before, he approaches her, and asked for her name.
She doesn't speak, only holds out her paw, forcing a hope-filled smile.

"I can't," said the lad. "I'm already married."

A tear trickled down her cheek as the meerkat lowered her head, and with a silent twirl, walked to the door, fading out of sight.
The meerkat in red still appears in every ball, anxiously waiting for a possible brave lad to take her.
But at every downturn, she'd simply weep, and fade away.

Another lad, attending a family wedding, met the meerkat. As always, she stood in her corner, waiting.
The lad walked up to her, transfixed of her beauty. She looks to him, without smiling, she holds out a doubtful paw.
The lad sees her eyes start to water as though she had been heartbroken. Without a word, he takes her paw. A nearby
butler nearly faints to see such sight, and to see that the meerkat had never smiled so widely before.

The two walk to the floor, and danced with the family long into the night. Near the end, the meerkat leaned to the lad.
The crowd saw in horror, as well as the servants (who had seen her all these years), the meerkat kissed the lad.
Before he could thank her for his first kiss, the meerkat suddenly faded.

Although the ballroom had now turned to a restaurant, visitors come from miles around to see the heartbroken ghost.
What they don't know was that her heart had healed already.

Meerkat In Red (critique requested)

Browntail

A short story I wrote based on the cover image.

Submission Information

Views:
176
Comments:
0
Favorites:
0
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Story