There may be some things that you've ruined, but everybody does that now and again. Besides, you may be overlooking a large amount of the beneficial things you've done.
My anxiety and phobias ruin everything for my family. we can't go out anywhere or i will break down or freak out. ive caused all the problems we have now, i didn't just deal with school like normal people and now we have loads of problems from pulling me out twice
Geez, sounds rough... ...Well, at least you have time to sharpen your talents as an artist.
I'm not sure how much help I could be, not having experienced what you have, but if you ever feel like talking some things over, I get on this site quite often.
Link
BikuBank
I forgive you <3