i'm not okay, i'm not okay, i'm not o-fucking-kay,

(vent)

side note: this is not about suicide though it does have some implications in the imagery. i got a diagnosis for a neurological issue today, i'm really depressed and frustrated because my body keeps throwing things at me, and i'm especially frustrated because i just got a diagnosis for a lasting, long-term issue from a severe head trauma that happened almost a full year ago. like. it just feels neverending. the image is about the feeling of everything being dragged out and feeling awful and even deadly but possibly not being a thing thats even happening and just wanting closure

god damn i just want some closure

like i was literally hoping for "congratulations! you have a lifelong incurable brain trauma that we cant do anything about go home now" because at least it would be over i'm sorry i'll be less pathetic and ungrateful tomorrow probably