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Winter's Gallows- Chapter Four- The Truth by AeroboltShadowVulpine
Ah yes. Chapter Four. The longest chapter I've conjured up yet.
Tch. I am liable to split this chapter in two when the second drafting process rolls around... This chapter is simply much too long for even my tastes! And that's coming from a guy who's TRYING to make his chapters longer because my first ever stories? Had chapters shorter than my relationships. That's... pretty damn sad.
But whatever. About chapter four.
All that I can really say about this behemoth of a chapter, by my standards mind you, is that...
The truth comes out...
Chapter Four of Draft One has 12,250 words!
Art is well... considering the number of times I credited him on FA, IB, SF, and now here, I dunno if I HAVE to keep posting beta-claude's name. ...Damn it! I just did! Wow!
Submission Information
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- Comments:
- 11
- Favorites:
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- Rating:
- General
- Category:
- Literary / Story
Comments
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Still have no idea why you are reading my story ^-^; Kehehe Especially if that was enough to do you in! ^^
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Because first of all, you are awesome and I still want to support you as much as I can; and secondly, aside from the inevitable "smut" I know is rapidly approaching in this story, it is still none-the-less a very good, attention-grabbing read. XD
...Also that gang that attacked them has a connection of some sort to the one that "molested" Lukan in Bright, doesn't it? XD I just KNOW how foreshadowing works in pretty-much all forms of fiction now. XD
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No. That gang is tied to KLAUS' backstory and not Lukan's. But I wouldn't be lying if I said elements from his backstory are coming.
Also I have decided that I will write the sex scenes with as much detail as I feel I need, regardless. Because I decided that being detailed only proves my medal as a writer. It's writing too MANY "sex" scenes that crosses that fine line, NOT HOW they're written. Which is why when I revise the story I will put more detail and backbone to chapter 5's "sex" scene. Being too subtle or not detailed about it legitimately makes me feel like a bad writer who isn't even trying. I'm supposed to detail Lukan's first experiences thoroughly from his point of view. That is the point of this storytelling... and a part of my goal after all, is it not...?-
Yeah, I suppose. But one of the biggest things my writing teachers always said is "less is more". Basically it's almost always better to say more with as few words as possible. I believe the term is called "refining". That being said, what I';ve read so far aside from a few grammar errors here and there seems to have no problem in that aspect, as it keeps the reader (me) moving through the story at a good, uninterrupted pace, which is the first priority of ANY writer. FAR too many writers have the habit of bogging down scenes with too-much detail, which in turn slows down the pace of the story. I MYSELF often used to suffer from using too many adjectives, especially before and after dialogue.
But on an unrelated note...this may just be my ego and dorkyness talking, but... Now for some reason I keep picturing Jack Spader doing something like THIS to those "bullies": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2u6RG7Qqj0 XD
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Yes I suppose that is true. But I am most certainly not letting up the details of my story to please only certain readers... As I said, I will add as much detail as I see fit...
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Fair enough.
...seriously though, I REALLY wish Jack could go Liam Neeson on those guys' asses. Because if he WERE in that story, he totally would. XD
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And since Aero and Sappha are passionate against those kinds of people, so if they were in... AND since Will carries a knife...
Figures they had to pick on the two most defenseless characters of mine, eh...?-
..."eh"? ...You know, even if you don't know it you're becoming more Canadian all the time. XD
But I guess the difference with Jack is he wouldn't just beat the snot out of those guys, he would likely have fun doing it while snarking-off cheesy one-liners, too. XD (For examples of that, just read up to chapters 4 and 5 of Small World [not including the two-part prologue.])
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Honestly though, you'd probably relate more to David Gray, since he's the "Peter Parker"-style dweeb character with a somewhat socially awkward, timid demeanor yet will assert himself when necessary and just happens to be a genius in fields like computer-processing and xeno-linguistics. He's basically a significantly more competent C-3PO. XD
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...And am I the only one who sees the irony of a character who plays the mainstream Pokémon games in a story with heavily emphasized themes about hatred and oppression vs acceptance and freedom? XD
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Unownace
"I don't always play Brawl. But when I do, I use Lucari-smacked by the bad-joke brick" XD
And yeah, as I said before, I pretty much figured out I was asexual after my first sex-ed class in Grade 4...having nearly PUKED at even the split-second sight of video footage of a woman giving birth from the hind-angle. XD That being SAID...it was still oddly satisfying to finally see Lukan "make the move" on Klaus, at least in a storytelling-way. XD