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![Treacherous Encounter [Revelation Space fanart]](https://cdn.weasyl.com/static/media/be/37/9f/be379f2e2912bdd09ae6ce174616d1de6c6710bcbae1c0e25374bbcfcc031f79.png)
i'm making a PSA comic about transgenderism, mostly mtf, so i'm reading a bit of some transgender support websites for help. as it turns out, at least how i interpreted it, this transgender "support" website seems to have this thing where they mentally have to do all they can to marginalize TG whose goal is to pass as female. this was my face when.
there seems to be this unspoken assumption that if your goal is to pass as female, you're obviously an idiot juvenile whelp filled with unrealistic expectations of hormones turning you into a supermodel, so you need to have that beaten out of you STAT. oh, you want to look girly? fuck you, hormones are not the solution etc etc and there's so much risk and at the end of it all you'll probably never have huge tits and giant hips, and that's all i'm going to say on the matter since that's clearly all you came here looking for.
you wanted something more? go read some of our wonderful self-acceptance stories! provided for you so you can feel better about how far you'll always be from reaching your goals
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it's something that isn't often touched upon, yeah. i personally identify as female because i want to be "girly" with the connotation of sharing my experiences and desires among other people who call themselves female and i want to assume feminine sexual characteristics... it shouldn't have to feel like a choice between just woman and man for people because it isn't... it's about what you want and what you need, and who/what you want to be, not just a predetermined category.
it seems to be the expectation that you "sink or swim" as far as transitioning goes, that you're "perfect" in body and/or mental fortitude/stoicism and you fully accept your current social gender situation or the results of your transition as your status, or that you're always going to be incomplete... physically or mentally. and as far as transgenderism and agender/asexuality goes in general...
there is definitely a dearth of thinking as well on if you want to associate with neither female nor male categories. even among mtf transgender and especially outside the community there seems to be the unspoken assumption among many people that you're in it for varying degrees of the "full ride" - when you get called "pre-op" or "post-op" - that you're going to have sex reassignment surgery sooner or later if you feel "fully" female... which is just bullshit. as though if you have one body type slightly different from another you are supposed to be more a man, or even fully a man, than a woman... instead of being able to choose whatever you want. yeah it's definitely like mainstream attitudes seeping over :x
at the same time though, i personally want to look pretty... i want to look "girly"... i don't want people to assume that just because i want to have womanly looks that i'm going to shallowly demand to look like a supermodel from my doctor... i would love to have the body of the woman in my avatar... but i know that anything could happen. but i also want to feel like it's worth bothering with... or at least how it might turn out well... in a physical way, not just a "i now accept who i am" way... not to feel fearful just from glancing at the transition guide.
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i guess, what i mean is, i personally want to know HOW transitioning works... for other people. it's not satisfactory to simply be presented with "you have to be afraid of this and that and this is your own transition..." because there must be other people compared to whom I will undergo similar unique details in the course of my transition. but at the same time, i don't want to have to wade through pages of other peoples' stories to get a basic idea about it, when i'm just starting to learn about transgenderism... which is how this website is sort of organized. and i feel like that's disadvantaging other trans people as well.
there is one page that gets it more "right" than others IMO:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html
overall it's dedicated to success stories in the sense that people in them accept who they are, but about both successful trans and non-successful trans, it makes an important point:"Lacking successful role models, and confronted with deliberately staged, stereotypically-prurient images of "transsexuals" from media like the Jerry Springer Show, young trans girls are often terrified to tell anyone about their condition. Constantly reminded of the violence and discrimination that trans people face, but unaware that large numbers of successful women get beyond such difficulties, many young transsexual girls can't see any way out of their awful predicament. Social stigmatization of transsexualism leads many young people to internalize a lot of undeserved shame, embarrassment and guilt about their condition. As a result, young transsexual girls often waste precious years before they seek help, and many never find a way to correct their gender condition."
i think that being constantly reminded of violence and discrimination as well as emphasizing the potential for personal unhappiness and dissatisfaction are both being kind of inconsiderate... yes, i won't be a supermodel, fine. but what all can i be? and so here it ties in with asex too... definitely yes... because there are surely many things...
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overemphasizing* i mean
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Of course. Naturally I understand most of what you mean...I think the best way I cope is to wear clothes that I feel like wearing even if they are baggy for me and meant for boys...Deep down I get puzzled about those things though because...Why exactly are the genders for clothes? Should there be really?
Anyway I hope you are getting what you strive for. No matter what we are born with though and what we are forced into, we are still beautiful somehow. I am sure you are very beautiful even if I have not seen you. :) As for me, I will continue to buck the system one way or another.
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Uostsil
Hell why do people even try to generalize at all. I mean wot if I don't want to be either....Why have I got to choose? Why have I got to be sexually related to anything? What if I happen to be asex and don't want to boyish or girly....And same with switching genders...If I just happened to want to be a boy what is it to them...I bet they are spies sent to infiltrate. :/