i'm blacked out sleepwalking on a quest for god at my friend's apartment.

its gonna be my birthday soon, i can't believe i'll be 25.
everything's been really insane this year. i haven't had much time to draw or anything because of how bad things have been.

i don't really want to go into logistics but i've been couch surfing/homeless for about 6 months and i'm still not sure when that'll be over. everything in my life has kind of fallen apart and my birthday finally coming around just reminds me how long i've been in stasis, stuck between two places.

i moved around a lot and luckily i have some really amazing friends who helped me find places to stay. i couldn't ask for a better support group. however, i've been too scared to really talk about what's been going on and i still am uncomfortable disclosing anything specific. i'm just really stressed out. i have never had a birthday away from my friends and family in arizona, but now i'm in illinois and alone and everything is daunting and overwhelming. i don't really know what to do with myself and all i really want to do is have a dog and draw comics again. i can't go to school, my student loans are coming due because ive been homeless and out of school for so long. i have to make payments on one of my loans right away and i don't even have a steady job. trying to draw on top of that is terrifying and all i want to do is go to sleep until its all over and stuff can start to be good again.

i've been able to draw some small things, nothing really worth uploading, but i'm thinking of releasing a small sketch zine soon to help pay my loans and have money to stop couch surfing.