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Mens Mirus (Reluctance for Beauty) by Crowley

Mens Mirus (Reluctance for Beauty)

It's not heaven, or hell.

It's not limbo, the underworld or the afterlife.

It just is.

It is in-between.

This was nothing like her own thoughtscape, Casandrel thought, picking her way cautiously through the fog on silent hooves. This was dark and grey and bleak. Alien. Her thoughtscape was full of waving grass and stars, sand and sea and moonlight. Not this murky fog, broken only by twisted, low-growing scrub trees and heavy growths of thistle and weed.

The low-lying ground fog made it difficult to pick her way down the slope, toward the sounds of hacking and slashing emanating from the dimly-lit hollow at the foot of the hill. She'd stumbled already, twice, and snagged her voluminous tail on a patch of prickly brambles. Still, she persisted.

He was uneasy in spirit, that much was obvious from the clouded state of his thoughtscape. It was often dark and ugly here, but usually clearer than this. Sometimes, there were even stars, although they tended to peep through breaks in the cloud cover.

Tekrai came into sight as she crossed over the lip of the hollow, her tail rustling the leaves of the bushes barring the way. He was waiting for her, his sword resting point down at his side. Casandrel knew he recognized his visitor; she was the only one who would come here, who cared to visit.

"You're still not quiet enough," he told her, his voice low and gruff.

"I don't need to be silent like you. I'm not a warrior."

"You would do well to train like one," he answered, raising his sword again, smooth and fluid, sweeping it out from his shoulder in one smooth arc to lop the straw training dummy in two. "Perhaps then I would not be needed to rescue you so often."

"I think you enjoy it," she told him, settling herself on a low branch that had manifested out of the fog. "Thank you."

He grunted. "Why did you come?"

She folded her tail around her feet and looked up at him, tall, his grey skin glowing in the dim light. "I thought you might enjoy the company. You spend too much time alone."

"And your company is what I desire?"

"It's better than growling at the fog, wearing yourself out over nothing," she flared and he raised a hand.

"You know I don't mean it like that."

"I thought perhaps we could journey together. Away from this." She gestured to the sluggish fog pooling around his knees. "Clearing your mind. And clearing your thoughtscape, so that I needn't worry about breaking a leg."

"You would be relieved of worry if you stayed within your own mind," he replied, although there was no heat in his words. "It's undoubtedly prettier than mine."

"It is," she told him. "Because I make it so. You could too, if you wished."

"I don't wish."

"Will you come with me?" The tip of her tail twitched gently as Casandrel fastened her gaze on his red eyes.

"You know it is forbidden, to leave this realm."

"For you."

"And you simply wish to have an excuse to move among those humans you love so much."

They'd both been human, once. Casandrel didn't recall much of her mortal life, but Tekrai remembered nearly all of his. He was unable to understand her fascination with the mortal realm, the one they'd come from. For his part, it had never treated him especially well.

"Not them," she corrected, her long ears twitching slightly to pick up any sound; there was no telling what monsters might populate his mind currently, and she'd been caught offguard before. "Their world, Tekrai. You remember it. It's wonderful, so full of amazing things."

"They will catch you," he warned, and she let out a laugh, high and tinkling.

"Not if you are with me."

"It is not a sanctioned mission," he insisted, tapping his sword against his leg. He was restless, but she thought he was considering. She folded her wings back so they wouldn't give away her excitement while she waited.

"Then I will have to get myself captured, so that you meany have leave to join me."

Tekrai's shoulders stiffened at that, his tail thumping hard against the sandy floor of the hollow, and she knew she had won. He wasn't going to let her venture off on her own, not once she'd played her trump card so deftly.

"To prevent all that fuss, though, you could simply join me."

He grunted acknowledgment, his tail sweeping long arcs in the sand as he adjusted his grip on the hilt of his sword, turning her words around in his mind, searching for a loophole. He knew the consequences of leaving for another realm would be dire, yet he had no doubt that Casandrel would get herself captured, so that he would have leave to join her, even if it was only on a rescue mission. He flexed his tail again, adjusted his wings, buying time to weigh his options.

He knew she could be subtle, ghosting them in and out without anyone realizing they were gone. She'd done it before; he hadn't noticed her until she was well into his own thoughtscape, after all. Still, the idea of the punishment if he was caught-

The idea of what would happen to Casandrel if she were caught edged to the forefront of his mind, and the sword vanished, back to his barracks as he made his decision, turning to her. "Where shall we go, then?"

"I have a place," she replied, sliding from her branch, dainty hooves landing lightly on the sandy earth as she held out her hand. Tekrai grasped it, his palm rough and cool against her smaller, warmer one, and then they blurred out of that plane of existence.

Casandrel was much better at navigating the spaces between worlds than Tekrai, and shifting from place to place was as much a part of her as her hooves. This time, though, she slowed their transition, so that Earth was visible as they passed through it toward their destination. She wanted to make a point about this world, about why she loved coming here so much, despite the danger.

Blur, and they were passing over the desert, rolling sand dunes and endless wind, a long line of camels trekking along beneath them. Blur, and they were looking at a polar bear mother standing protectively over her two cubs, roaring on the edge of an ice floe. Blur, and they were looking at the African savannah, a small group of cheetahs lounging beneath a tree full of twittering birds, elephants trumpeting in the distance. Blur, and they were over the ocean, a pod of orcas below leaping into the sky for the sheer joy of it, racing one another to the clouds.

Blur, and they were over a bustling city, endless streams of humanity wending their way between towering skyscrapers, insignificant as ants. Blur, and they watching vendors hawk their wares in an open-air Cairo market, pottery and carpets and all manner of food and spices. Blur, and a colourful festival in India, sand dyed every shade rippling through the air as joyful music played over the people dancing in the streets.

Blur, and they were back on the ground, hooves and feet sinking into rich black soil. Tekrai looked around, taking in the low hum of insects, the humidity in the air. He furrowed his brow at a cacophony of parrots above them and looked to Casandrel.

"Where are we?" A jungle, yes. That much was obvious from the vivid greenery surrounding them, trees soaring into the sky, wrapped in moss and draped with vines.

"Costa Rica," she replied, making her way through the ferns surrounding them. "Walk with me."

The ground was too soft for Tekrai to walk comfortably; after sinking up to his knees in a patch of rotted vegetation and mud, he opted to hover along behind her as she made her way up a long slope, face turned up to the vibrant canopy, joy emanating from her features.

They were high, very high, surrounded by crags that were nearly lost in the heavy clouds of mist that hung at canopy level, kissing against their faces and exposed skin. Casandral's hooves clattered gently, the sound muffled by the fog as she crossed a long hanging bridge that disappeared ahead of them, although Tekrai knew that it had to be fastened at the other end- he just couldn't see it.

They emerged above the saddle of the mountain, blinking in the sudden shafts of dazzling sunlight. The canopy had opened up here, the clear sky visible overhead, painted in streaks of purple and pink, orange and gold, the sun hanging low over the mountain like a molten gold coin suspended in the air.

Tekrai, for his part, could appreciate the lush vegetation better if it didn't tangle around his wings and impede his forward momentum. He could appreciate the verdant greenery, if it wasn't home to a large colony of stinging ants that descended upon him seemingly out of nowhere.

As he struggled to free his wing from the creeping grasp of a bush midway up the slope, he became aware of a steady rushing noise, and of Casandrel calling to him from the ridge, silhouetted against the burning ochre of the setting sun.

Tekrai jerked free with a muttered oath and made his way to her, the rushing roar getting louder in his pointed ears as he ascended toward Casandrel. He lit down on the crest of the hill and looked down at her radiant face.

"This is what I wanted you to see," she murmured.

Tekrai followed her gaze down, to the clear blue pool beneath them, fed by the rush of a waterfall pouring from a rocky cliff, sending up a fine misty curtain of spray. Rainbows shimmered through it, the setting sun catching the droplets in midair and setting them ablaze with colour. They watched a small flock of macaws swoop and dive through the vapour, adding their palette to the scene as the chattered and called to one another.

"You come here often," he said, more statement than question. She nodded and started down toward the pool, dappled with gold from the rapidly diminishing sun. He followed wordlessly, mimicking her posture, his wings and tail held out for balance- it would help no one if they plunged down the stony face and drowned.

Casandrel led him to a small, mossy undercut near the waterfall, mere feet above the water and just big enough for them to sit, side by side, and watch the moon come up over the trees.

Tekrai splayed his wings and leaned back against the slick, mossy wall, breathing in long, slow measures. A monkey screeched in the distance, followed by a raucous audience of parrots, and he allowed himself to smile.

Casandrel snugged herself into his solid side, twinned breathing felt rather than heard over the steady roar of the waterfall. She drew his attention with a nudge, then pointed to the fireflies dancing over the pond, their luminosity reflecting in a thousand dazzling points of light.

Tekrai watched a large, spotted cat- a jaguar, his memory supplied- ripple through the ferns like liquid metal, coming to the edge of the water for a drink. His dark eyes crinkled in a smile, his pupils burning red pinpoints in the gloom of their little hideaway. "Perhaps this was not such a poor decision."

Casandrel twined her tail over his, calm and soothing as the tranquility of their surroundings brought peace to Tekrai, his body slowly uncoiling the tension he'd carried with him this far. His thoughtscape would be much gentler when they returned, she thought, much safer the next time she visited. She folded her hooves underneath her and watched the stars wink into view, serenaded by a chorus of tiny tree frogs and Tekrai's easy breathing.

Mens Mirus (Reluctance for Beauty)

Crowley

It's not heaven, or hell.

It's not limbo, the underworld or the afterlife.

It just is.

It is in-between.

Commission for Celestina/celestinaketzia celestinaketzia, who wanted her characters Casandrel and Tekrai sneaking off to somewhere serene and beautiful. Hopefully I did justice to what she had imagined.

Submission Information

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448
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2
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Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Story

Comments

  • Link

    I LOVE IT SO MUCH I AM GOING TO CAPSLOCK BUT THAT ISN'T EVEN A PROPER INDICATION OF HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS

    • Link

      I'm just relieved you didn't hate it ^_^

      I WILL CAPSLOCK AT YOU IN RETURN BECAUSE I HAD FUN WRITING THIS EVEN IF TEKRAI IS A GRUMPGOBLIN OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE