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grief hound by Faydyn (critique requested)

grief hound

1
The Mitchel was seven when the hound first spoke.
It lumbered into his room in the dead of night and sat by his bedside
It watched the child toss and turn, he young human child was having another sleepless night no big loss. There would be many more from now on.
Suddenly the child sat bolt upright and they locked eyes.
The beast smiled, steak knife sized teeth lined its maw like tombstones of the dearly departed
"you will never see your father again," it crooned, as it spoke its image wavered like the waves in a pond on a windy day
The child froze

his parents had just divorced.
Divorce was an abstract concept that haunted him.

Mitchel understood that he would be seeing less of his father from now on, it hurt him in a place that you couldn't bandage. He was scared, not just for himself but also scared for his brother who was only a baby, (he was asleep in the next room) on top of everything the hound was taunting him.

"that isn't true!" He shouted.

The hound laughed it was a deep, brassy laugh that echoed through the house and shook its rafters.

"Even if it isn't I have already won! Your relationship with him will never be the same!"

The boy realized that this was in fact true, fear and sorrow were quickly replaced by rage anger and hatred
"GO AWAY YOU AREN'T REAL, THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU ARE IMAGINARY! "
He lept from bed and turned on the lights.
The hound disappeared, but not completely.
The vision of the hound was not just a product of his overactive imagination.
He could still see its outline in the shelving unit next to his bed

2

The hound had at least been partially correct his relationship with his father was strained.
Little by little he had healed, day by day.
Years passed and now
Mitchel was a teenager.
Due to unfair circumstances he was now in a special ed high-school
His classmates all lived in different towns so it was difficult to make friends outside of school
let alone find a girlfriend.
At least he was on honor roll and receiving almost straight A's

3

He had been put in detention over some missed homework he was trying to finish it before eighth
period. He noticed that someone had hung a poster of the school's mascot on the wall not far from where he sat.Tundra The Husky stared from the poster with his dopey grin.
"Husky Pride day November 3rd the banner read."

Mitchel scoffed, why did the school have a mascot?There was no school sports team, no cheerleaders only a gym and a misused and ill maintained weight room
The most common explanation was that huskies pulled a sled together, everyone working together for a common goal.

Suddenly a familiar voice rasped breaking his train of thought

"long time no see,"

Mitchel dropped his pen. The black hound from his childhood had taken Tundra's place on the poster
"you may be getting straight A's in this school, but this is not a regular high-school. They baby and shelter you here. You would get eaten alive at your hometown's school. All of your old friends abandoned you because they hate you. They haven't forgotten the outbursts you had in third grade. All you have to look forward to is a dead end job and life in your mother's house until you are forty. And that is if you are lucky. If not there is a padded cell with your name on it in Bellview psychiatric center."
The hound laughed
"you should grow up and stop playing the victims card because reality is a cold hard bitch"

Mitchel sighed

Once again the hound was at least partially correct the school was a sheltered environment and they probably were babied. The bit about his old friends was questionable at best.
He looked back at the poster Tundra had returned with his dopey grin.
He quickly finished his missing homework early, he was dismissed and allowed to go to the computer room were he spent the remainder of the period chilling with friends

4

Graduation passed, Mitchel had excelled in culinary school he had passed ever class with flying colors. He was now twenty and still working as a dishwasher.
Every time he tried to work saute he was steamrolled, working in a kitchen was harder then he could have ever imagined. The hours were long there were many a day where he was ready to quit.

One day the Hound appeared again, this time as an image in the soapy water.

"see I told you" It chuckled
"you might as well be working in MacDonalds. You are going to be doing the dirty work for the rest of your life."

Mitchel smiled and thanked the hound.
The hound stared back blankly
"Why are you thanking me?" it asked bewildered.
" All I have done is spew negativity and made your life awful, you should be angry with me and disgusted with yourself. "

Mitchel was the one who laughed this time

"You may have been coarse with me, but you were often correct, or at least partially correct about a given situation. You made me strive to be a better person."

The black dog was speechless

"I have also outgrown you, don't come back unless you have constructive criticism." mitch said as he dumped a hot saute pan into the water.

The image of the black dog boiled away.

5

Years past and and several different restaurants later Mitchel was now a pastry chef and line cook. He was living out his dream. He was excelling and everyone constantly reminded him how far he had come in a few short years.

The black hound continually appeared as the year past, although for the most part it was silent.
It appeared to be monitoring his progress.
Occasionally the hound would come to him in the dead of night and simply watch solemnly
On bad nights it would watch over him and tell him that he did his best
"try harder next time it would growl"
Occasionally it would chastise him when he burned the garlic bread at work.

Mitchel realized that the hound would be with him for the rest of his life,
their fates were interwoven they couldn't exist without the aid of one another, they were symbiotes. The hound was as much a part of him as his arm or perhaps his eyes.

6

During a sleepless night after a rough day at work (a lot of orders had come back to the kitchen either overcooked or undercooked, and the head chef had scolded him) the hound returned it silently padded into the room and sat by his bed
"well, you did the best that you could," it said solemnly.
"you really think so?," Mitchel asked
"you kicked ass and took names today, I'll be back when you need me"

the hound beamed as his image dissolved leaving only darkness

grief hound (critique requested)

Faydyn

photo credit goes to Wikipedia: in some ways the vision/night terror this was based on really did resemble black shuck

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