Special thanks: technicolorpie for the use of Dinner Is Dangerous, NubianKitten7 for the use of Steamweasel, and Babsiwuff for inspiring the title with another song from her stream.

(Note: No, the website isn't real; I hold no responsibility for what the URL may lead to now or in the future.)

[Fonts used: Berlin Sans FB Demi, various condensed forms of Interstate, IDAutomationSUPCEANM (barcode)]