Inspiration and model reference courtesy of Spicy-cheetos.

Does this count as vent art? Because when I heard about some bro I don't know on the internet -- the friend of an artist I admire -- who thought he was undesireable, and that everyone from prospective employers to strangers on the street had made him believe he was ugly and funny-looking, well... I was about to declare war on the entire population of Thailand, I'll put it that way.

Now, what I'm about to say isn't going to be a direct message to any specific person. It's a sort of rantish essay, an open letter intended for anyone who is going through this sort of thing, because I know he's not the only one.

I got to thinking about this guy's struggles with appearance and acceptance, as well as my own. I'm no stranger to losing faith in myself. I loathe my voice and am very disappointed in my body type. I refuse to sing or go swimming. I wear hoodies to hide my shape, I wear special insoles to make me look taller, and I only just recently became comfortable with growing out my hair again. I used to hate the way my face looked. My eyelashes were too long, my cheeks a little too round, my nose a little too bent, and people said that my eyes made me look like I was about to cry.

Alternative fashion and culture helped. Like a lot of alternatives, I sought refuge in the dark and ugly, the scary and the weird, and that helped me more than I can ever specify. I realized that beauty could be found in anything, and that it was okay to hold yourself to a different set of beauty standards. It's okay. You don't have to be just like everyone else to be worth something, to be valued, accepted, and respected as a person.

Above all, it taught me that self-expression is what makes a person truly beautiful. Happiness and freedom in the face of anyone is absolutely fucking gorgeous. You can have the best hair, perfect eyelids, the most amazingly symmetrical jaw structure, and still be wholly hideous and pathetic. You can have a homely face, hair that's been bleached to death and awkward-looking ears, yet be the most attractive creature in the world.

It's true. Not all people are objectively, universally beautiful on the outside. Some of us just aren't blessed. But when I look at someone completely in their element -- my fiance, for instance -- and she has a cigarette in her hand, still wearing pajamas, her hair all askew and yesterday's makeup not quite washed off completely, and she's laughing at something completely stupid and nonsensical one of our roommates said and trying to not spill her third cup of coffee, I don't see some forgettable, overworked, antisocial, twenty-something smoker with a weird sense of humor. I see a vibrant and dedicated human being with a complex, glowing personality, full of life and energy, loving the moment and the people around her, and that is fucking beautiful.

And no, I'm not crazy. I'm not psychic. I don't believe in fairies, magic energy, or any other kind of woo -- but I know real beauty when I see it.

I'm not making this up to boost your confidence, whoever you are. I'm not on some mission to give you fuzzy, cozy feelings or give you an excuse to pursue unhealthy behaviors. I'm saying it because I truly believe it. Science backs me up -- everything from your voice to your body language changes when you're happy and confident and having fun. This makes people feel safe and comfortable, and allows them to be happy and have fun. This then results in a naturally pleasant shared experience, one of which everyone around you will be wanting more.

So be you. Be your truest, most vibrant self. That is what makes a person attractive. Be proud. Be aggressive, but keep the love in your heart for those who deserve it. Above all, don't be afraid. Be honest about who you are and what you're passionate about. You'd be surprised how many people find that fearlessness absolutely irresistible. (Note: While freedom of expression is lovely, I do not endorse you doing anything potentially dangerous or self-destructive. Be you. Be smart.)

And fuck the popular culture. If the people around you insist on rejecting you no matter how hard you try to be their kind of acceptable, then do them one better and embrace the odd. If they insist on othering you anyway, then other yourself first and go beyond their expectations. Show them what a real "other" looks like. Leave them gobsmacked with how fucking amazing, wonderful, and fulfilling it is to be apart from what's safe, perfect and normal. Everybody wins!

The bottom line, I guess, is this: It's okay to be unconventional. It's okay to not meet the popular standard. It's okay to like weird things or have weird characteristics. That doesn't mean you're Quasimodo. You -- not your face, not your body, but you -- are beautiful.