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Artist from Germany, graphic designer

I apologize in advance for this wall of text. I don't want to have to do this, but I feel like I have to make something very clear.

My Mountain Dew Commissions are a silly offer I came up with 4 years ago; you bring me a bottle of Mountain Dew, I would draw you a tiny sketch. My regular Commissions (at cons) are €15 for a one character sketch, so this was meant as some form of courtesy for people who may not have the money to get a full commission done, some sort of reward for people who actually go through the trouble to bring me something I enjoy. Just a little something to make people happy in return for making me happy. Since people have increasingly made attempts to abuse this offer of mine I will have to lay down some ground rules which I thought were obvious, but apparently, were not to some.

1. Bringing me a shit ton of Mountain Dew will NOT make me your art slave. Repeatedly, people have been asking me how many Sketches they'd receive if they got me [insert ridiculous ammount of Mountain Dew] bottles of soda. Needless to say, I am more than willing to draw two sketches for you if you bring me two bottles/cans at a convention, or maybe one slightly bigger one. Even three bottles. I can be bargained with! But repeatedly now people have been promising (and occasionally even came through with said promises) to bring me whole palettes of Mountain Dew, containing about 24 or more cans of the stuff, both to conventions and to meet-ups. This is obviously TOO MUCH! If I were to stay true to my offer I'd now owe you 24 tiny sketches, or the equivalent of bigger ones. This was not and has never been my intention when offering these commissions! If you're willing to bring me some soda, please keep it at a reasonable amount! I also have to carry the drinks back home eventually, and carrying all that is NOT fun! (Yes, I speak from experience...)

2. If you want a regular commission from me, you CAN'T pay me in Mountain Dew. I've been asked how many Mountain Dews someone had to give me to pay for a full colour digital illustration in the past, or similar requests. As much as I wish it was that way, but Mountain Dew does NOT pay my bills. If you want professional work from me, you will have to pay me like a professional. It's as simple as that. Don't abuse my kindness.

3. Mountain Dew Commissions are an offer that is exclusive to conventions. It may have been different in the past, but here's why:
   Having to deal with the above problems repeatedly is nerve wracking as it is, but having to deal with this outside of conventions is even worse. Occasionally, if a stranger or a friend offered me a bottle of Dew in exchange for a sketch at a meet-up, I may have said yes. When people asked me in the past if the offer was exclusive to conventions, I'd answer that it was, but I definitely wouldn't say no to some Dew if they got me some (and therefore a sketch for them in return). That has led to the first two problems occurring more and more, to the point that I have to put a stop to it like this. If I ever told you that you could bring me Dew anytime and get a Sketch for it, that is no longer an option. Sorry.

4. If we're friends, then please, PLEASE refrain from doing any of the above!!! I shouldn't have to say this, but a lot of times, people that abused the Mnt Dew Commissions were people I considered to be friends or good acquaintances. By nature, it's very hard for me to say no to people, even more so if I care about you in a way. If we're friends, then it's likely natural that we sometimes spend money on each other, that also includes friends offering me free Mountain Dew. More times than I can count it has happened that I received a bottle of Dew from one of my friends, only to be told afterwards "Well, that makes one sketch for me!", "How many more until I get a whole commission from you?", "Guess you can put me on your Waiting-List, haha!". It's important to note that not all of these are 100% honest, but even if said jokingly, it hurts an awful lot. I have a lot of trouble with detecting sarcasm at times, and saying those things I dislike hearing and framing them as jokes after makes me feel incredibly insecure, stressed and partially used. I WANT to draw things for my friends, I WANT to give my friends special offers and discounts, because I LOVE my friends! This whole Mountain Dew affair in particular has just riled me up so much, has proven to me time and time again that a lot of people are ungrateful for generous offers and all too willing to exploit artists, that I just don't find it humorous any more. Please don't joke about this if you care about me.

So after all is said and done, why do I still offer these if people keep abusing these special sort of commission? Simply, because it's fun. People bringing me a single bottle to get a tiny sketch in return at cons and seeing them get excited, that's what I love. Not to mention that I get some Dew in return! (Which is rather hard to get where I'm from)
So I would really love to keep doing these Commissions, but if people keep using me like that, I will have no other choice but to stop offering them completely.

tl;dr: Don't be a dick to artists.