Not to alarm anyone but there was a flood warning in my area as many of you tried to flood my skype with but I am well. This place never flooded but to be honest compared to the rains in Puerto Rico there was more lightning than water. Nothing went wrong during this other than some loss of sleep and the rare loss of internet.
I have finally let pass the loss at my heart from another friends stab in betrayal but the scar still is metaphorically there. I do not hate him. I can never hold a grudge yet I feel pity enough to still aid. Stable as I currently feel I need to find a better job here in Texas to officially state my independence as a person away from his home and family. They sometimes call me rarely or regularly depending on them. Regardless, it is not the same for this pup to hear them only when he is so used to have his mother hug him every morning. Fighting with his father on daily squabbles and fights, fearing for our own family's survival and how we can make things work. So many of those thoughts still weigh but this pup... I feel like a ghost to them. Almost as if I am to never feel a mothers loving arms over me. Not to be able to taste the foods of my father as I try to learn to cook my own food only to find no feel to the divine taste his sweat, worries and hopes gave it. I miss my family more than than anything in the world. My roomies keep me some company but it is not the same. So hollow. Hollow in a new blank home. Tears have come down my cheeks many times especially at the loss that happened earlier but this separation from family eats at my soul as my baby brother calls me on the phone crying, begging to hear when I will return to play with him and help him study, when will I go see my niece and play with my baby sister. My heart has been betrayed and hurt yet this... It really rips harder than anything I have ever imagined. How many of you have left your families and experienced this? So many of you so brave and strong. I need that strength, that faith that drives your soul forward. I desire to push on and remain helping in the house in chores and even cooking at times to keep my mind busy. A more of you have come to help my and seen me in person and that act on its own adds heat to the low embers in my heart making me continue on. I am truly cheered by it.
i am safe and well.
On a fun note:
Halo 5 is finally out and amazing! It has highly impressed me with its new look as much as 4 did when it came out but so much more. So far seeing a few buds stream on twitch while I went on my own pace was fun but playing with friends really made it feel like the game that it is on its own while destiny has a halloween event. Why must both games pull at my arms for attention! The Skolas mask is fun to have just to say "boo" to the big bad boss himself as he raged back made me laugh. Thank you sabela, johnnythehusky and Komo_Dragoon. thank you so much for teaching me how to make such a great dinner for my roommates and myself. It tasted different from my fathers yet to have you guys help me in all its awry wacky banter to the point everyone in this hows got involved lit my night. Everything all of you who who are helping me do really makes me smile.
All of you.
Its interesting what understanding can give when another sacrifices his own self when he has so little.