(crossposted from tumblr because i do that sometimes)

i had a shower revelation: i finally figured out why the “we’re all in this together” moral as portrayed in so much of children’s media bothers me so much.

it’s a great moral, but the ways it’s delivered often leaves a lot to be desired, because in reality… we’re not all in this together. usually, cisgender people are not “in this” with me. nor are white people. nor are neurotypical people.
this holds true with every power imbalance in society, and it’s important to note that it’s not just “sometimes,” it’s “most of the time,” otherwise it wouldn’t be systematic. so usually we are absolutely not all “in this together.”

and the people who usually have this tired trope recited at them like some kind of golden rule are the ones it’s supposed to apply to: “why do you have to make this about race? why are you so concerned with me ‘appreciating’ other cultures? why are you talking about issues that don’t affect me specifically? we’re all in this together.”

if you’re going to give children such a broad moral brushstroke to work with, you have to make sure they understand the message, especially when others in their lives will likely twist it to suit their own beliefs. i want to see white kids telling other white kids why racism is wrong. i want to see a straight kid tell someone to lay off their gay friend. i want to see a binary, cis kid honestly trying to understand gender neutral pronouns… and then correcting the teacher, who gets them wrong.
this lesson needs to be explicit. no metaphors; no analogies with animals or aliens. use the words racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc. say “erasure” and “oppression.” when i was 8, i knew dozens if not hundreds of long, complicated, hard-to-pronounce dinosaur and animal species names… if i could get “dilophosaurus,” i’m sure i could handle “microaggression.”

keep the moral. tell kids that we all need to stick up for each other. but get specific. because some people will need more “sticking up for” than others, and we don’t need a well-intended - but poorly delivered - life lesson thrown in our faces when we try to do it ourselves.