Everyday is a trial. I'm not a perfect person, I've said this before. But I hope to remind you that you don't have to be. I've a laundry list of issues that every day it is my job to work on. No one wants to be left in the cold and no one wants those they care about to receive them badly and if something you do or say bothers another person; you should evaluate it. You don't have to change for anyone else or cater your actions around anyone else. What you should do is ask yourself, 'is it really necessary.' Sometimes we behave in ways just because we feel we can't be bothered to be considerate. We use; 'I give no fucks' and 'I'm just being me,' as mantras. We do this because that's what everyone else is doing and no one wants to put more effort into it than anyone else. But really I've come to the conclusion that some of it just isn't worth it.

I tend to lean toward knowitallism, I think the worst of people and I've little trust for many folks. I've good reasons for this. I also have a tendency to disregard peoples intentions and hold them accountable by their actions. People can't face what they do or what they didn't do if the intention doesn't match up to the action or the results. Trust me, of all the things people hate, they hate this one with a passion. No one likes to be reminded it doesn't matter whether or not they intended to do something; the end result and the consequences are more important. I say this to point out, I've a tendency and a personality habit to try to cut straight to this in most of what I deal with and do. Most of my adult life, I considered it cutting through the bullshit, but it takes the humanity out of everything we do. And even if I am right, which a lot of the time I am... I am wrong in many more ways and the end result doesn't match the intentions. No one goes, oh, I never saw it that way. It's always an issue and the fact is, I've resisted changing that approach cause really, that's just how my mind works.

But is it worth it is the cusp of this conversation. Do I really want to be right more than I just want peace or understanding. Well guess what, I've been right a lot over the years and to be perfectly honest being right doesn't support you; people do. So I have to ask myself what's the end game and sometimes I have to let certain shit go. I think of everyone I encounter and dare I say I think I should share that epiphany with you as I think it's a hard lesson to learn and trust me, it ain't easy to keep at, so you have to try at it. I don't expect you to change, I just expect you to consider it and make a decision. I guess the attempt is as important as it gets and maybe see if things work a little better when we're a little more flexible with how we cope with people. Who knows, maybe something will give. But then again, I haven't figured it out myself so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

-Tyrsis Rook