Okay so, I need to get this out, and normally this wouldn't be a place for that, but I feel making artists approachable, and venting are both good things..right? Plus, this will explain why im having so much trouble with my art as of late.

So..my mom has been really sick this entire month. We finally had to bring her into the hospital thursday, my sister came down because I wasn't able to handle it. There were a lot of tests done, and she was very confused till around sunday when they got her levels up once more. She only came home TODAY. She's still very sick, and we found out she has permanent damage to her frontal lobe. Its not major, but..it IS brain damage. The hospital wants home care to come check on her now and then, but they also put a lot of pressure on me, expecting me to do everything and understand it and just..I just dont know what to do with that. I feel like for now I can help take care of her, but in the long run I cant be here forever..c..can I?

Today was made worse. My mothers dog was VERY old. He's been having a lot of trouble moving the past few months, couldnt get up stairs, fell over a lot. When she came home he freaked out(hadn't seen her for almost 7 days!) and couldn't calm down. He convulsed and fell over. I had to phone animal control. What a horrible thing for my mother to come home to, thinking SHE did it. I just..im so sad and heart broken. I feel like I failed him too.

Im so tired, mentally and physically. My art feels like its lifeless and not going anywhere these days, and it depresses me so much to see how little interest there is for my style and what I draw. I just need time to adjust, and maybe try and find some tips if people can talk to me about how to improve that.

thanks for reading if you did <3