Since my photography garners little to no attention, I thought people might be interested in a series of treatments I’m about to go through instead.

Beginning Monday (July 13th) I will be undergoing TMS ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation , http://neurostar.com/neurostar-tms-depression-treatment/ ) treatments every weekday for a minimum of six weeks. My depression is drug resistant, as we’ve been struggling with medications since I was a child, even medications not even meant for depression.

I feel very lucky to have the chance to undergo these treatments. The doctor I’m working with has a 70% remission rate with depression, as opposed to the stated 30% by the FDA. This is because, instead of following the very low baseline that the FDA tested, my doctor treats “off the books”, following much more recent medical studies that are showing more impressive results.

Really, I can’t put into words how excited I am to try this. I fight tooth and nail against committing suicide every second of every day, but I made a promise to another one of my doctors that if I began going through the motions to attempt suicide again, I would either call him or send myself to the hospital for a couple days. I keep my promises, I want to see how this treatment works out. There’s no guarantee that it will work, or get rid of my depression completely, but it is -a chance-.

I would like to invite people to ask me about the sessions as I go through them, or if enough people are interested, I could make weekly or bi-weekly updates about the experience. I honestly don’t expect much feedback because I’m practically invisible, online and off, but this is a rather uncommon treatment and I would like for more people to have the opportunity to learn about it.

I still have a lot of other medical problems going on along side my depression, but that's a lot of boring crap no one really wants to hear about. I did want to mention it though because I am often out of the house/away from the internet all day, every day, because of doctors appointments. If someone DOES ask me a question about TMS treatments, I'll try my best to respond soon, but it might take several days, especially with my anxiety and other issues playing into that.

Other than answering questions, I will still probably withdraw myself from the internet for the most part. A lot of things online are stressing me out and making my overall mood much worse.

Thanks for being here, guys, and thanks for putting up with me.

EDIT: TMS treatments have been pushed back to Friday (7/17) due to unrelated medical issues.

UPDATE: I got my first treatment today! The physical experience certainly.. isn't something that is easy to describe. There were no seizures though, and it went very smoothly! Starting this Monday I will be going in every weekday, for six weeks. This is going to DRAIN me, I likely won't be uploading much through the whole thing just because I will be so worn out, but I will try to keep everyone updated and answer any questions people have about the treatment! I still feel really honored that I'm able to undergo something like this, and I definitely want to share the knowledge I gain from it. But yeah! Here's to.. the first step in hopefully a life-changing, positive direction.