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I never post journals by Alkaris

because I don't have very much to say to put into them. unless of course there's something really important I must put out of course. But people never read them anyway, so I think what's the point?

I see and try to read a lot of the journals that others post here, but I get so many appearing in my inbox at a time it puts me off from even reading any of them that I just nuke them all.

But there is something important here I do wish to say, and that is I'm not doing very well at the moment. I have a lot of built-up suppressed emotions inside of me I have an apathetic look on my face. Filled with deep sadness and full of depression about everything, and it's hard not to think suicidal thoughts because of it. I probably mention some of this stuff on Twitter most days when I feel too damn depressed, and I know some people will be turned off by that and unfollow me from Twitter, but those people who did follow me just do not understand the full scale of what it's like to be in my position or what it's like to be full of sadness and depression all the time. It's not something you can just hope to eventually fade away and forget about stuff that causes it. Some people think people can just get over depression instantly just by doing other thing but you can't. It takes more than that.

You need supportive friends and family to help someone get over their depression, you can't just shove them under the rug and ignore them, because that will only make it worse for them. Right now I feel that I don't have the support I need from friends or family that I need right now. In fact I don't think any of those who I even consider friends care about my state of depression that I currently have. It's enough to make me want to end myself.

I don't just want a pat on the back and be told everything's going to be alright, I NEED people who can be there for me to support and help me through this. Can you even do something like that?

I never post journals

Alkaris

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    I do understand what it's like to deal with these feelings, having dealt with loved ones and myself. You are not alone and I'm always available as a friendly ear if you wanna reach out and just talk.

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      hmm thanks ^^

  • Link

    As much as I'd love to provide that support, I myself am in that place too. So the best I can do is offer hugs.