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Dear Watchers... by Bagheera
This year has been and will be a year of change. As some of you may have heard, my wife Balaa and I will be moving soon (to Seattle, Washington). Additionally, an important book containing a story I've been wanting to tell since I was 14 is finally nearing completion. The book has undergone half a dozen rewrites, and has evolved and grown with me over the years. I was most fortunate to have met Balaa, who not only took a fondness to my story but has taken it in as her own, and helped me tremendously in filling in many of the missing pieces and expanding the world in which it is set.
The title for the book has undergone several revisions as well, and as the completion of the book is now within reach, we are confident we have found the right name for it: The book will bear proudly the title Twilight & Shadow: The Leopard Sun (credit goes to Balaa for this). We will likely be doing a fundraiser via Kickstarter to get it published; promotional art and illustrations can be expected later this year (starting August)
As you read this journal, you may notice that my art gallery is being cleaned out. Please don't panic - allow me a moment to explain.
I am not leaving Weasyl or FA - so if you were worried that was the case, please rest easy. For the foreseeable future I will continue to showcase my work on here; I like the sense of community on these sites and I have met a lot of friendly people. However, I have long felt that a lot of the art I include in my gallery do not reflect who I am. I have always held a strong passion for wildlife, and that in turn caused me to find the concept of anthropomorphic creatures appealing. To some, this makes me a "furry" - but having attended my share of furcons as well as having done furry commissions for a good number of years, I can honestly say there's a large portion of what comes with the word "furry" that I do not identify with. And, as the result, I simply cannot in good conscience identify myself as a "furry".
There's nothing wrong with being a furry or a dedicated fandom artist - but that is not who I am and not how I wish to be seen or remembered. I love science, and I believe in people's capacity for compassion and kindness. I want to help inspire change and contribute to human progress. This has in fact been my lifelong goal, ever since I conceived The Leopard Sun 18 years ago - it is the reason I wish to tell this story, and the reason I am now reorganizing my gallery.
From this point onward my gallery will only host personal works - this includes things I have drawn or written for myself and my friends (may include art trades, collabs, OpenCanvas sessions, etc.), as well as materials pertaining to my own projects (including The Leopard Sun and all future stories). Most of the older works I am no longer happy with will be removed.
The majority of commission artworks will be removed with the exception of a few personal favorites. If you commissioned me at one point and did not save a copy of the artwork to your computer, feel free to message me and I will be happy to e-mail you a copy of the work.
The materials I do decide to showcase on here will be re-uploaded in a (mostly) chronological order; if there are picture series, the images will be grouped together for ease of browsing.
Lastly, just a heads-up in advance, I have reserved the username "Lorien" on both Weasyl and FA - that account name will be used for hosting strictly The Leopard Sun and other commercial project-related materials in the future. I look forward to telling everyone more about it when the time gets closer - stay tuned until then! :)
~Sincerely
Lórien Fëantur, Dream-Keeper
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I have loved your artwork all along, and that makes me a fan of your old visions, I suppose.
I've yet to be turned off by furry, though I've not gone in as deep as some people, this idea one outgrows it, or "isn't really" a furry baffles me.
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Furry is a very broad term - compared to a lot of other fandoms, which often are specific to a certain genre of art (or even specific titles, in some cases), the furry fandom encompasses people from all walks of life, and an entire spectrum of political, religious, and sexual beliefs. This makes it very difficult to define "furry" - is the only qualification needed a fondness of anthropomorphic creatures? If that is the case, are people who like anthro cartoon characters automatically furries? (Not saying there isn't an overlap, since there certainly are a lot of furries who like anthro cartoon characters, but I certainly don't think all people who like anthro characters are furries).
The one trait I noticed among a lot of furries, though, is a tendency to live through their characters. Their "fursona" isn't just their face in the fandom, it is their face in everyday life - and some people push this to the extreme (i.e. they think the world should accommodate their unusual identity, instead of the other way around. While there are some instances where I think this may be well and fine, in other instances... not so much. For example at furcons I often see furries dressed in full leather BDSM bondage gear dine at family restaurants. I know it sounds judgmental, but at what point should does one cross a line in pursuit of one's fantasy?)
I guess that's my issue with fandoms in general (note I say "fandoms" - the problem is not furry-specific) - some people are so deep in their obsessions and fantasies, they disregard reality altogether - if not outright reject it (if it gets in the way of their fantasies). Heck, I have personally spoken to a furry who wants to artificially graft things onto his body to make himself into an anthro - a personal friend who's a PhD in biology have many horror stories about doing panels on biotechnology and having furries ask him "What can I do to make myself into an anthro" etc.. I don't think that's very healthy, and I certainly am not that "deep" in my interests. I love the creative side of the fandom, it creates so many beautiful artworks, and I certainly have my own worlds and characters and fantasies, but outside of that I know I am a human being and I know there's a huge world out there, beyond the fandom. I think a lot of furries lost sight of those things, you know...
There was a period of time when I first discovered the furry fandom (VCL, and then FA), that I was really excited - I was happy there was a whole community of people who liked animals and anthropomorphism. And I met a lot of very nice people (most people I met here have been nice, really - the obnoxious ones are unfortunately also the loud ones). But after a while, you know, I had to reorient myself - there was simply so much more I wanted to do in life, that I could not accomplish as a fandom artist. Like I said in my journal, I aim to inspire people, give them hope, make them dream - I can't do that if I cater only to the interest of the furry fandom.
In any case, as I said to another commenter on FA, I am not severing my ties with the furry fandom. If that were my intention, I would simply have left without saying a word. I made this journal because I am at a critical point in my life and I am reorganizing pieces from my past in preparation for - for the lack of a better word - a "rebirth". My involvement in the fandom is a part of my history - I am not ashamed of it, but there certainly are pieces of it I do not wish to keep anymore (in particular, I want to remind myself that furry is an interest, not how I want to make a living or have my existence defined by).
Sorry for the wall of text, but you have always been very kind and supportive to me, and I felt you deserved a more detailed explanation than most. I hope that made sense. :)
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Wow, thanks. You know, I get to know a lot of artists on these art sites through their journals, but it's rare for one to remember me.
That makes a lot of sense, I've been finding that while I like furry characters, it's just not going to do for a lot of the creative projects I have a mind to make someday. Some include creatures that could be considered "furry", but even now, I'm finding I sketch a lot of humans and general science fiction scenes. Also been seeing a lot of general discussion out there how furry commissions are not so great a niche market.
I don't consider the people who want to change their bodies crazy, because I was one of them for a while! My desire for a new body was fueled by a disgust and general pessimism about humanity - at the time, 9/11, Iraq, cruel and unusual crimes, ecological decay, greed - I thought if we were going to have a better world, humanity was something we'd have to shed. It didn't help my own life was, well, not-so-good. I would not be surprised if such "escapism" is in these people.
What broke the spell was the creature I'd rather be keeps changing. It's like telling your friends you want a tattoo, but every time, it's going to be a different tattoo.:p I'm toying with the idea of changing again already.
As the world calmed down, and I learned to see the good in people again, this idea of abandoning human form has faded. The better worlds I imagined have remained, though, they form the seeds of my art and stories. I know what it is to carry a beloved idea around in your head for a long time.
Good luck with the move, and the new project! I look forward to it.
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We can get into a lengthy philosophical debate here so I'll tread carefully.
There was a time (a long time ago - back in middle school - around the time when I first conceived The Leopard Sun actually) when I also had a strong dislike of humanity. But over time I grew out of that - not only because the "reality" of the situation is that we are human beings and the only way to fix our mistakes is for us to face them, as human beings, but I think the whole Romanticism surrounding animals (that they are more "pure", "innocent", or "noble" somehow) is simply untrue, naive, and ultimately harmful (i.e. PETA). It's a simple case of people growing up on stories depicting animals that way; the reality is far more complicated (or simple, depending on how you look at it).
From a strictly biological perspective, animals are no better or worse compared to human beings. Each of our emotions evolved to serve a purpose - all animals capable of emotions share some similarities to us (especially easy to see in other social animals). Animals, like humans, are perfectly capable of everything ranging from altruism (even inter-species altruism) to greed, jealousy, aggression, cruelty, rape, deception, and in some cases, even warfare. I've seen acts of terrible violence committed by animals we typically consider "gentle" - horses, elephants, dolphins, etc.
It's easy to blame humanity for its imperfections and mistakes in an era where the errs of our ways have caused detriments to our planet - and just as easy to sympathize with animals as the helpless victims (and they are). But, if any other animal species developed civilizations and wielded the same kind of technological powers, there's a very high chance they would have shared the same flaws and made the same mistakes.
I do not say this to be pessimistic; it's simply the inescapable reality of the situation. Changing us into anthros won't "fix" humanity or its mistakes, for reasons I stated above. The best (and only) way forward is to better ourselves through education, strengthen critical thinking, make people realize why they should live responsibly and sustainably.
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nods I'd pretty much agree with you now. I just wanted to hopefully give you some perspective on why some of these furries think the way they do, and how I grew out of it.
(the mystique around dolphins is the WORST. it's now known they are generally like wolves - predatory, yet social - but the damage done by mid-20th century biologists who genuinely believed they had human level intelligence, if we could only communicate with them, may be eternal. My HS biology class turned into a shouting match over this. >.>)
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I disagree about dolphins - there's a detailed article here on this subject: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2015/05/dolphin-intelligence/foer-text
I think "intelligence test" on animals can be tricky, especially given that animals differ so greatly in their anatomy. I am not saying dolphins have "human-level" intelligence, but they do have great intelligence - perhaps a "different" intelligence, not necessarily greater or lesser. They are at the very least ranked up there with chimpanzees and elephants, both of which are known to be highly-intelligent.
I would say the greatest "harm" was not done by biologists but by animal lovers - who often are the sources of "myths" and misinformation surrounding animals (and popular culture unfortunately thrives on popularized myths). We won't see dolphins like the way they were depicted in SeaQuest or Ecco that's for certain, and they are certainly not creatures of unconditional kindness made of sunshine and rainbows (rape, lots of rape - but then humans rape a lot, too. So this is not a judgment call).
Regarding furries, I understand your point fully - my point was simply that... some people don't ever grow out of certain ways of looking at things. They form an opinion and refuse to continue ingesting new research and information in order to preserve their opinion - refuting anything that may dismantle it. This way of... "emotionally-guided" thinking is one of the greatest threats to humanity, IMO. Rationality is the only thing standing between a future, and a fall back into the Dark Age.
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good article.
I think we're trying to say the same things but "disagreeing" through expressing them differently, as happens from time to time.I agree that dolphins, elephants, and chimps are on the same intelligence "rank" (for want of a better word). (well, not sure about elephants, though the field has been advancing rapidly and I would not be surprised if I'm "behind the times") I'd throw some bird species up there as well, (parrots, crows), maybe octopus too...
The problem is I learned about feeding/hunting strategies of dolphins. I came to see them as "wolves of the sea" - they are strict carnivores and act like it. They are pack hunters and act like it. And this causes the people who believe in the unconditional kindness to just raaage if I talk about the new research into their favorite animal. Do they think that dolphins are vegan or something? >.>
As for the last point, do you know the term "confirmation bias"? Because I think you just described it to a T, in terms anyone could understand.
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Not sure about about the statement "They are strict carnivores and act like one" - that seems to presume all carnivores act that same way, and they definitely don't. Felines are definitely very different from canines, and bear from either. Even carnivores that are social can be quite different - the social structure of hyenas, lions, and wolves are all very different.
I am no expert but to my limited knowledge, dolphins are wolves are only similar in that they are both carnivorous and social animals... beyond that, their social structure/hierarchy, ability to communicate, and level of intelligence all differ greatly. And, unlike wolves, dolphins do frequently exhibit extraspecies sympathy/altruism (i.e. wild dolphins are known to help persons in distress) - to my knowledge wolves are not known for this. Elephants do the same thing, but it's always a bit more surprising to hear carnivores do this (and they definitely do - that is in fact how The Leopard Sun came to be).
Arguably human ability for sympathy and compassion evolved the same way - we were pack hunters once, too, you know. :) But we are also social animals - like dolphins - and our sense of sympathy and compassion evolved for that purpose (started out as something beneficial to our own species, then as an unintended side effect we started feeling that way toward other species - sometimes even inanimate objects. Ever sad about throwing out an old furniture or selling an old car?)
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Yeah, you're right, I know it's a lot more complex and I could have probably phrased that better. Mostly, the "sea wolves" is just a reminder to myself to fight against the sunshine and rainbows version of dolphins, because the first version of dolphins I read about was, while scientific, something like that. I've watched their darker side being slowly discovered, reading about it first in - you guessed it - a national geographic. I'd have to "clear my brain" to see them with fresh eyes like you do.
yup, I cried when my old computer died, but computer death is murky. They never die, die, so I always wonder if I'm giving up on something fixable, if I only knew what to do. There is the tragic loss of data, websites I had bookmarked but could never find again. There a sense of nostalgia, and place, like, "this is where I learned about furry" and " this is where I met my online friends". I don't think I can really know how much of what I feel is that sense of personal tragedy, and how much is the social algorithms of the human brain running wild and personifying her.
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Well, this has to be the longest discussion we've had by far!
I don't know about you, but I enjoyed it.
Thanks for taking the time to explain what's going on with your art, and I wish you the best in your new endeavor.
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不知道這邊打中文能不能顯示正常...XD
很期待巴仔的作品終於準備要誕生啦~~ 不過應該不會有中文版吧 XD
關於furry的那段真的深感認同! 其實在台灣的獸圈也是差不多，我跟十二嵐也是對於"獸迷"這一詞沒有那麼感到自我認同。其實很多想法都跟你很像~ 獸迷這一詞在台灣獸圈有太多涵義，甚至包括許多貶意以及種種讓"一般人"無法理解的行為，所以我們其實也不想被這樣定義。只是夾在自我創作與賺錢之間，真的很兩難! 我們的原創作品在台灣的獸迷市場其實也很難推廣，要堅持自己真正所愛的方向真的很辛苦，所以對於巴仔所寫的都很有共鳴啊~~
總之我會繼續關注你們的作品的 (雖然內容可能會看不懂 XD) 加油~~~-
哈囉 JC！很久沒聯絡，很高興收到你的留言～
恩，看來我們的心聲是一致的。。。謝謝你的關心和鼓勵。希望在不久的將來，我們都能夠自由的做自己想做的。
獸界這東西本來就應該是嗜好，有壓力就不好玩啦～妳和Zilven的作品真的都很漂亮！我因為目前錢比較緊，很慚愧不能多支持妳們。希望The Leopard Sun 能成功。。。我是很想回來幫你們的，但是自己要站得住才行。
要撐住喔！P.S. - 最後沒搬到台灣發展，Balaa 還是擔心她語言的問題，我不想勉強她。有錢了以後就能常回去啦～ Balaa 很喜歡妳們兩個，還有Ajie也是。:)
P.S. - 我們的書妳會有興趣試閱嗎？先跟你講清楚： 會有點辛苦喔！光章節摘要就有70頁。。。草稿預計150到200頁。願意的話，寫個PM給我吧～
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whitefang_greytail
Thank you for informing us. All the best for your future projects!