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Situation has escalated by Taesolieroy
It was bad enough with the verbal abuse I've been receiving on this day to day rollercoaster of emotions borne out of the deliverer's lack of sleep and food flipping between a good day of praise and acknowledgement of all I do around the house, to utter hell of where I apparently do nothing but suck the energy and words out of them and pull pity/poor-me stunts.
Now it has gone to physical assault in the form of being bodily dragged by the arm over to a bin full of cat litter and fecal, and demanded to stick my head into it in a display of point as to the smell that's been bothering the person to the point of illness... A smell in a shed that is separated from the house by a door from a bag that was about to be taken outside..
I think I've cried more times this past year than I have in the previous five, and considered the unspeakable more than once. It feels like just about every night I'm crying, and during the day too. Just running down the road to that dock at the end is such an easy thought to entertain. Or just running anywhere in general..
I have no voice here, no freedom to be upset, to scream, to speak my mind without fear of reprimand and unprovoked belittlement, no freedom to even do my art without jumping at every little sound or word.
I cannot stay in this house anymore. It's a place I once considered a home, but now it is incredibly hostile thanks to one person demanding more than is reasonable of her spouse and daughter. I can't hope to get enough to escape it with my newest job at $8/hr wages, and it's sickening to think that I just got it, only to need to turn around and leave it. To be demanded to stand proud and knock off this so called 'feeling sorry for myself' in the face of this rage and belittlement, it's no wonder I feel so unbalanced and lost daily.
Problem is, the act of picking up the phone and calling the family down south to move back with them is as frightening as staying here. They've learned a little of just what I deal with today, which isn't the best of days to expose this to them.
Situation has escalated
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He thinks putting rules such as 'you are not allowed to direct or speak to anyone in this house until you have eaten' will fix it, as he suffers the same treatment of verbal attack daily. She has made it clear in this household that psychiatrists who do not side with her are scum on the bottom of her shoes.
I hadn't even thought of toxoplasmosis, as the humidity here has caused an outburst of white fungi on the bagged litter - causing most of the odor.
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Fungus can be just as bad, and just because they don't side with her doesn't mean they can't hold her if she is an endangerment to herself, you, and her husband. And as far as her making you sniff cat litter with fungus, that is also child abuse, and yes, you can call the authorities for that too.
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A recent reveal during another burst of being accused of pulling the poor-me stunt and being rude in any of my responses last night told me she has as bad a phobia of handcuffs as she does the ER room.
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Mayhaps you should sit down with your dad and ask him if the two of you can't find a place on your own?
I know I don't talk to you that much anymore (i apologize, life is busy), but I do still care.
I wish I knew how to help you.-
While it's a good idea, he's the only current money-maker in the house until I start my job. Last time she was left alone in the house she nearly killed herself with anxiety and landed herself in the ER that caused her current phobia and loathing of hospitals.
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I really don't understand how he can be with someone like that though. I mean, is she treating your stepbrother like a piece of shit too, or just you and your dad?
Cuz if its just you two.. I dunno. Seems a bit fucked and hokey to me.
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Wow, I hope you get out of there as soon as possible that sounds like an utter nightmare.
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Teaso <3
I've gone through things similar to this. Call me or text or email or PM on the DC forums. Saignus told me to come here (I don't use weasyl...maybe I should...)
I don't want anything bad to happen to you. She should not have dragged you, nor tried to put your face in the box.
What worked for me may or may not work for you.
Whatever you do find a way to move out.--simplified version of my story follows--
I had 2 jobs. They wanted dishes done before my dad got home at 2pm, the entire house swept, the litter box cleaned, trash taken out, grocery shopping done daily for them and my grandmother, and any other miscellaneous errands done. All on their time table, and their standards. If I missed something because of work or talking to my then-boyfriend or making art, it was a disaster and they yelled at me often. Saignus witnessed the yelling by being on skype phone calls with me and listening through my microphone. I started to believe a lot of what they told me and all the things I should be doing 'to help around the house' which essentially meant being their maid. Whenever I stood up to them it was bad, and whenever I did what they wanted it was never enough. I was very very happy to move out.all in all, I hope and pray you can find another place to live. Until then, do what you must when you must, but keep your eyes fixed on the goal of being self sufficient.
Luv ya girl <3
Nakase
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Adleisio
I wish I could do more to help you. Like I said before, talk to her husband and find out if she can be admitted for a psych evaluation, because if you are concerned for her health and by having you stick your head into a bin of cat feces is a danger to your own health though the potential of toxoplasmosis. A standard counselor and psychiatrist will likely not only talk to her, but you and her husband as well to get all sides of the story.
Either way, Toxoplasmosis is not good, and if she is endangering your health, you need to do something to keep yourself safe and out of harms way, regardless of what it requires.
http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/gen_info/faqs.html