I'm not ready to make a commitment like that when I already have a backlog worth $1300+.

And even still, whether or not I have a lot of overdue commissions to finish, I don't get how one could be focused on one single project over a long period of time. Unfortunately I am led to believe that I am very impulsive when it comes to ideas and designs. And it doesn't help that despite my almost instantaneous brainstorming, the mood to draw it out can go just as fast as it comes.

...

maybe I should be a concept artist. I've actually been putting a lot of thought into it over the last couple years.

I can't sketch out a shitton of ideas like most others can. If anything, most pictures can take me days to complete just because I'm not satisfied with the basic results of a sketch. It's annoying, and I never get anything done.

Sigh. I have no idea what to do. If I just rush through this backlog, it'll be obvious that the content itself is rushed, and probably won't look as high quality as it was meant to be.

I can't take a break because I've been taking breaks for months, and nothing significant has been done.

Everyone has their eyes on me, expecting either a breakthrough or a fuck up, and I don't think I'm ready for that yet.