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Emergency: Attempted assault, current homelessness, commission delays by Accelerando
Hey, friends, followers, and commissioners,
A friend and I are currently without a safe place to room up because our roommate - whom, in our time here, we've both come to realize has had a long history of abusive and outright thieving behavior - attempted to physically attack me. We have been dealing with this guy for a long time, and he has made living in this apartment a miserable experience, to say nothing of the condition of the place itself. Long story short, he "borrowed" (essentially stole) significant amounts of money from my friend, and when he came home to yell at my friend and pressure them so as not to have to pay back the full amount, I intervened and demanded he pay in full, after which we got into a confrontation where he started shouting slurs at me and tried to hit me twice, once with a heavy bottle, before he picked up a dental pick and made to stab me with it. We have called the police and met with officers twice, but due to many misunderstandings and for other reasons a formal report hasn't yet been filed, something which I intend to rectify today.
As such, my friend and I are on the road again, and looking for housing. Although we still have the month's rent paid for our apartment, it is not safe for us to stay there. My friend has very little, but I have some money, and I am willing to help out around the house and do chores if that is necessary. For the time being, we are planning to stay in a motel for at least the next day or two, and will be looking around the area for housing options. If anyone here has available room and would like to offer two people a place to live, preferably within the continental US, or to suggest someplace we might check out, we would both be immensely grateful. They must also be trans/LGBTQI friendly. I am currently checking Craigslist and other classifieds services, although I'm not sure which ones are most useful or best, and we are planning to visit more promising properties in person in the next few days, so any guidance in this regard would be greatly appreciated as well.
We may be in and out for some time - a few days, perhaps a week. Nevertheless, I will attempt to be reachable here and on my other websites regularly, and I will finish commissions as time and location permit and as soon as I am able. If you would like to request a refund, feel free to do so at any time. Thank you so much for your patience as well.
EDIT: Update: My friend has turned out to be unreliable, as they sympathize with the abusive roommate and have been staying increasingly at the apartment again, even despite an earlier physical incident between them. As such I will probably be going this alone, and I will only need housing for one person as a result.
Thank you all.
Emergency: Attempted assault, current homelessness, commission delays
Journal Information
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- 17
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Comments
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Certainly, and thank you. I hope so as well. And yes - nobody should have to live with someone like this. I will do my best to get this guy locked up, too. I went to the police HQ to file the report yesterday, but it turns out that the report was already filed, and they don't investigate attempted assaults. I will try to get an eviction notice served by the sheriff, although we are on rocky ground with the landowner so that may be contentious, but I will definitely do my best. There are other complications as well, but I have a few more legal options, which I will pursue as far as I can.
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holy shit! hope you find a safer place soon
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Thank you so much. I hope so, too.
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Signal boosted. Some people want to know where exactly in the US you are, though.
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Thank you very, very much! I'm in the Bay Area, California. If you need more specific information, feel free to PM me.
I should also mention that anyone offering must be trans/LGBTQI friendly. Not that I think your friends aren't, but to be clear. I'll edit it into the journal body, too.
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Maybe you've already seen it, but there's the Transgender Housing Network. Sorry for your misfortune, and good luck!
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I'll see what I can do. I don't know what you mean by "trans friendly." I know some guys who aren't bothered by it, but they won't treat you like a golden goose, so if thats what you're looking for...
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It means that anyone offering must be accepting of trans people and is not going to think or act disgustedly, insultingly or dismissively toward me on the grounds of my trans/LGBTQI status. In other words, I ask that they treat me like a "normal person". While I appreciate your help, I have to say that your assumption off the bat that trans-friendly might somehow automatically translate to "I will use my minority status to lord it over you" is more than a little rude and demeaning. I treat straight cis people as my equals; I don't think it is beyond reason to ask the same of them.
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Whoa, I asked if you wanted help. I wasn't making that assumption before but now I sure am. Do you always treat people like this who are trying to help you? I had something lined up with a bigender person especially for you to make you more comfortable and you just blew it, kid. Their choice after they just read that, not mine. Don't you dare make assumptions about me, I'd say you're hardly in the position.
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Your remark explicitly stated that if I wanted to be treated "like a golden goose" then I wouldn't be getting that; what I am telling you is that I never asked for anything of the sort, and that suggesting so, and especially when I explicitly stated otherwise - see below comment - is more than rude and offensive. I think it should be patently obvious what a request for a "friendly" housing situation means, especially as regards treatment of minorities, and it is most definitely not a request to be treated like a pretty princess.
I had something lined up with a bigender person especially for you to make you more comfortable and you just blew it, kid.
And if that is the way you or they are going to act about this then frankly, I would rather not have either of your "help". There are many things I will apologize for, but telling someone that they are being offensive and belittling towards myself when I frankly think they are, and especially when I am looking for housing to get away from someone who shouts gay slurs at me while attempting to crack me over the head with a bottle is not one of them. If I wanted "help" from someone who will suddenly and dramatically renounce their "offer" to me if I point out that the way they talk to me and about me is offensively disregarding, I might as well go to a church shelter or, better yet, stay in this toxic apartment. I would feel about as safe.
With regards to this:
I wasn't making that assumption before but now I sure am.
What I said, precisely, was this:
I have to say that your assumption off the bat that trans-friendly might somehow automatically translate
Key word bolded for emphasis.
You told me that you "don't know" what I mean by trans friendly, and then proceeded to tell me that if I am looking to be treated specially because I am trans, I will not be. This makes the assumption that if I say I want a trans friendly living space, then I might potentially want to be treated like a special flower child. This is an offensive assumption, and if you are going to make it more now than before, then once again, I might as well go to a church shelter.
Do you always treat people like this who are trying to help you?
No, but I definitely treat people like this who talk to me as though my less fortunate position makes my concerns for my safety and my mental well-being invalid or less important, and who write at me as though there was some possibility of my trying to extract special treatment from others because I asked that people be friendly to me and mindful of my trans status, especially when I explicitly specify that I am more than willing to "pull my weight"; again see below comment.
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Oh, and by the way, the "bigender person" anonymous friend mention and the "we did this all just for you" attitude doesn't make you look more egalitarian, LGBTQI respectful, or in any way more fair. It just makes you look like a tokenizing asshole who feels entitled to emotional compensation for being "helpful".
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Also, just stating the ground rule that you're expected to pull your weight shouldn't be offensive to you. Very strange reaction there.
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I never said that I was not going to pull my weight, nor was I ever expecting not to have to. I explicitly stated in the body of the journal that I expect to "pull my weight", as you put it, around the house, and I quote:
My friend has very little, but I have some money, and I am willing to help out around the house and do chores if that is necessary.
Perhaps I should have emphasized that more strongly, but I think it gets the point across. Your comment was, once again, extremely rude and unnecessary in telling me that I should not expect any "golden goose" treatment for my being transgendered. I never, anywhere, made any statements with regards to the thought that I deserve some sort of special treatment, above and beyond anyone else. All I am asking is that people treat me as equals, and I highlight this explicitly because I have had many experiences where people simply do not give a fuck. I do not think that this is hard to grasp. And with regards to this:
Don't you dare make assumptions about me, I'd say you're hardly in the position.
Perhaps you should consider taking your own advice.
I will not argue further about this. Any further comments of this nature will be deleted. Thanks.
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Wow, the attitude of some people :/
I hope you can find something that'll work out for you, I'll see if there's anyone in the area that can help I can't remember who's there off the top of my head.be well ): it's a shame about your friend but I hope something works out soon.
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Felthry
Er, ack o.o
Good luck! I can't really help myself but I do hope you find someplace to go soon. No one should have to deal with that sort of thing :x