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I Removed My Entire Gallery by KyleWilliam

...almost all of it.

I apologise to all my watchers [and those who frequently drop by] for that ...but it's not as if all of them will take notice anyways.

Bare in mind that what I did here was no overnight decision. A lot of factors were at play and many thoughts have been taken into consideration. It was only a matter of time ...and that time so happens to be now.

The truth is, I'm genuinely depressed about all the things I do despite the nice things people have said to me about it. Granted, I've improved a lot since I first joined and gained a fair audience and a lot of watchers in the process (albeit not as much as more established people), yet ...each time I take a look at all my past drawings I can't help but feel like I'm not improving fast enough. And how many years has it been? I feel like I'm taking too long to do anything.

I look everywhere around me (the other artists), and the first thing I see (whenever I compare their old and new art) is the improvements I know I'll never get half as fast. And I'm tired off feeling incapable of doing certain things others have no problems doing. I'm still very bad at drawing hands and feet, certain facial expressions, positions, angles, perspectives, etc. All my lines are nowhere as clean as I want it to be. And these past few months, every time I looked at all my old drawings (or even my new ones), I always felt like I've failed myself.

And then, there's my focus. It's being pulled in every direction right now. Most prominently would be my Bachelor course. Accountancy is no joke at all people, despite the fact that a lot view it as math and practice. Since May 2014, I constantly had assignments to complete, reports to write, projects to handle and exams to study for. If it's not that, then it's all the personal stuff that loves to bug me and get in the way. And all that demotivates me from doing anything. Even my hobbies, which includes artwork.

Whatever.

I'm going to start fresh.
I'll be right here ...should anyone bother

Regards,

Rick

I Removed My Entire Gallery

KyleWilliam

Journal Information

Views:
196
Comments:
16
Favorites:
1
Rating:
General

Comments

  • Link

    Why wouldn't we care? hugs

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      ...I don't know I just-

      Ugh.

      hugs back

      • Link

        Well, we do and we're here for your hardships. Keep it up man

  • Link

    Good thing I already saved some of the Johnson/Carter ones so that I can draw them (hopefully sooner than later! XD). But man I still think you're too hard on yourself. Of course I can only speak for myself, and my own junky days, but when it comes down to it...whether I think what I've drawn is a one step forward or two steps back...the important part is that every bit of it helps. It's really what makes you as an artist.

    There will always be those who come into the scene and go from scribbles to art-gods seemingly instantly, and I'd be lying to say I wasn't envious...but comparison is the death of happiness. And at the end of the day, you've just gotta do whatever makes you happy. I know I certainly hate nearly everything I draw by the next day, but it's always progress...and the race is only against ourselves.

    I suppose all of that is to say that your watchers care! Keep it up man, and of course best wishes with your coursework! hugs ^^

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      You saved some the Johnson/Carter stuff? Dawww That's so sweet~ XD


      Either way, I feel a lot better now. I guess I was so badly blinded by the heed of my incapabilities that I forgot the real reason I drew anything in the first place -- I drew because I loved it, and it didn't matter if I wasn't half as good as anyone else because the passion was what mattered the most.

      Thanks for taking your time to write this. It really means a lot :'3

      Take care now

      hugs back ^^

    • Link

      ...but comparison is the death of happiness


      I still come back to this journal just to re-read all the comments.
      And those words you said, as well as what came before and after, really stuck to me. It has been my drive lately, despite the little time I have left for art.

      Sure, it's been more than a whole week now since you commented. But still, I thought I should drop by and lay down a few additional words because I don't feel like my last reply did any justice to what I actually wanted to say, or rather I don't feel like I've said enough:

      I'm really honoured to have met you in this community. Honest.

      It reminds me that there really are those out there who look out for others despite the distances and not geographically being at the same place at the same time. And I'm happy that I found this community in the first place. I really could never imagine otherwise.

      I won't forget any of this at all. You've certainly gained a heck of a lot more respect from me.

      Again, thank you so much :'3

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        But of course, I'm glad to hear that perhaps some of my ramblings may have been helpful! But that's what friends are for, I'm certainly quite glad to have stumbled across your page as well! And despite the distance, it is truly wonderful to have friends spread across the globe, it makes life more interesting and a bit more bearable when we're down...couldn't imagine it any other way either!

        Anyways, hope you've been well Rick! hugs :3

  • Link

    Ow, sad to hear that, I did really dig what you have done and it's sad to not see those anymore here. And yeah it's sad to hear it affecting you that much :c There are people that improve a lot slower than others, and that isn't bad in itself.

    Something you can try doing is trying every so often learning techniques and things you don't normally use or do well, or draw well, or never tried drawing. Yeah of course at first it will look like shit, your multiple first attempts at it, but as you keep learning better to draw it, not only you'll be able to draw that better, but when you come back to drawing what you love drawing, you'll see you are going to start implementing things there you weren't doing before and finding it easier to draw even things you didn't felt were related :3

    So yeah it's not easy improving, not everyone improves at the same speeds, it's not good to not improve, but it isn't either to JUST care on JUST improving, more so on a timer. It's important to improve and to want to do so but a balance between both things is important, you can never have the motivation to draw and improve if you feel you MUST AT ALL COSTS do it :3

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      I'm beginning to try something new, but it's really small. Whether or not it makes a difference is another thing all together, but it's there.

      Regardless, thanks for taking the time to write this. :3

  • Link

    Good thing I already saved most of the art work I liked the most.

    You have a wonderful style, though it's hard to improve if your personal life is so busy and full. School work is important. But don't beat yourself up over not improving. Those other artist have a ton more time on their hands than you do. I think you've done a fantastic job with the time allowed. Should give yourself more credit.

    I hope you continue to draw. I always enjoy seeing your work. ^^

    • Link

      Thank you so much! It's good to know that a few people (including you) have actually saved and kept my work because they liked it. I really don't know what else to say XD

      Yeah. I guess I should give myself a little more credit for what I do. Removing my artwork was somewhat my lowest point in the world of art. For now I'm trying to rebuild. But I'm not going to re-post all the things I removed. I don't see the point. Might as well start fresh now that my gallery is emptier.

      Still, I really appreciate the fact that you enjoy my work. Really :'3

      And yes, I will definitely continue drawing! ^^

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        Well, nothing wrong with a little house cleaning. ^^/

  • Link

    Hey hey, I know I /just/ stumbled on your page but I wanted to mention a couple things to this
    I have given up on art far too many times because "I'm not progressing" or not as fast as I wanted. Even now when I look at the stuff I've drawn in the past year and compare it to some of my older stuff, I can see SOME mild improvement, but a ton of "this hasn't changed at all" and a few "wait, I actually did this better in the past..."
    Honestly it could be a big factor in why I don't do serious art anymore unless someone asks me for a drawing. Everything else is just sketches to either kill time or vent my emotions
    BUT
    Firstly, every time you give up or are discouraged, it only makes it that much longer until you improve. I cut out art for a year and a half straight once, I refused to even doodle. I am /sure/ if I had just continued I'd actually be better now than I currently am.
    And also, a friend of mine is an artist whom I have envied my whole life. She makes amazing drawings that just look incredibly real and detailed. But, we were talking the other day about our doodles (mine of a kitsune that I uploaded here, and her of a deer skull) and I asked her for any tips for making more dynamic poses. Her reply was "well you have to make sure the original photo you take of the object your drawing lines up in these ways to make it that much more interesting, and when you draw it out make sure you keep following those lines etc" and I had to stop her and say "wait but... everything i draw comes from my mind. I only reference things to get the correct anatomy sometimes, but mostly its completely just me drawing whatever I think of"
    And she said I was extremely lucky, and that try all her life, she can't draw purely from her mind.
    She thought /I/ was lucky?
    I was confused on this, cause I was always envious of her skills, until I figured it out
    We're all envious of other people's skills that we don't have, per sey, but there are also always skills we have, that others don't
    ...
    Though that doesn't help me feel like I've improved as far as I want to be either
    ANYWAY FOOD FOR THOUGHT

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      You do have a point there. Only, I never actually intended to stop drawing all together XDDD

      I was simply ticked off by the fact that I wasn't improving half as fast as others would, or wasn't improving at a rate I desired. And that was one reason that prompted me to remove all my past works entirely because ...well, I didn't want anyone to see them anymore.

      I did mention in my journal was that I was gonna start fresh. That means I'll still be drawing stuff (in whatever time allowed) in the future, and then posting it. It's just that I won't repost whatever past works I removed (although I will make an exception for a handful of it).

      But I feel a lot better now really. A lot of people have already PM'd me and commented across most of the art sites I use just to get me back on my feet. And since then I've been worrying less about the things I do, as well as reminded myself the very reason I drew anything in the first place -- I drew because I loved it.

      Still, I really appreciate that you took the time to write what you wrote just to give me something to think about.

      Seriously. Thank you so much ^^

      Cheers!
      -Rick

      • Link

        WELL THEN I DIDN'T FULLY READ VERY GOOD WHOOPS

        But I'm glad you're not giving up. Means you're a stronger artist than I. And I'm glad you got a lot of support, that's good to hear. Too often I hear horror stories of people straight up told that yes, they aren't doing good enough, etc.

        And you're quite welcome, I'm glad you read it <3