(something I probably should have saved for tomorrow but oh well)
So... over the past few weeks I write a couple of "go fuck yourself"s for a few dudes who are, quite frankly, in desperate need of being told to go fuck themselves. I then promptly saved them to text files and just sat on them, rendering them useless as they grew less and less timely, being retorts to things these people said weeks and weeks ago; every time I get up the nerve to try and tell these people off, my subconscious just makes up some excuse to "do it tomorrow instead." Part of it is because these guys consider themselves to be on friendly terms with me* (the feeling either never was or ceased to be mutual), but mostly it's just because I'm scared stiff of the potential negative consequences (there's also a sort of friend-of-a-friend thing going on in one instance; don't want to alienate the guy I like by alienating the guy I don't). I've come close; a few of my recent vent journals have doubled as passive-aggressive jabs at these guys, but they either never saw them or I was too subtle and it went over their heads (due to the journals in question still being vents, first and foremost). However, if I tried anything more overt I would just do the "save it to a text file and save it for tomorrow" thing. Apparently, my brain thinks that me being in any way assertive is completely out of the question. Which explains a whole fucking lot, really.

(Maybe sometime in the next few days I'll post an "Airing of the Grievances" journal I made for Festivus but decided to do the text file thing to, but I dunno.)

*Interestingly, or perhaps not, this may well result in this journal prompting encouragement to stand up for myself from the very people I want to stand up to in the first place.