Hey all. Long time no hear. I guess you could say I’ve just been -tired- lately, which kinda bugs me. IT’s always been an impending sign of depression, though these days I’m trying to keep it in my head that I’m also working more and sleeping less. I’ve been sleeping in a bed about 5 inches too short for me with boards underneath a single mattress. Needless to say it’s had me hurting, right along with my wisdom teeth.

Chronic back and neck pain plus chronic tooth pain equals a serious sleep deficit.

I did my first trio today! Went down to Houston and back to Comanche. I didn’t drove, only rode, and I really got to feel the difference between an empty trailer and a loaded one. I’m hauling food grade, which means they’re smooth bore tanks. There’s no baffles dividing the space so the milk is able to slosh back and forth pretty freely. And there was one time where my trainer had to brake hard due to an idiot driver in front of us, and the milk went forward, back, and then came back and slapped us pretty hard in the back. So definitely a challenge!

My trainer is a hoot. He’s an older fella, kinda portly and short. But he listens to the most absolute bubble gum pop music. Katy Perry. Lady Gaga. All the latest hip hop and Top 100 stations. He even sings and whistles along. It’s actually kind of adorable in a way. 99 percent of the time it’s country and rock’n’roll. Not this guy. He’s jammin’ to the latest Lorde song and lovin’ every second. He’s pretty awesome. I can tell he’s pretty young at heart.

Something interesting. On my last day of training up at Abernathy at the school, I was driving back in the company suv with a guy who was pretty smart. A devout Christian. We got into some pretty interesting discussion about religion, and I confessed to him that I was pretty standoffish about it because I was planning on transitioning, yadda yadda. I trust him to keep it in confidence, and he said he would. And from my time spent with him I have no doubt that he’ll stay true to that.

What was strange, though, was him saying that he respected me, but he didn’t agree with what I was doing. He more or less implied that he wishes that I’ll eventually “find my way” to light, in the metaphorical sense. His stance on homosexuality was the same. It’s their choice. He won’t judge. He was adamant that it was against his beliefs, and he was pretty solid that the only god was a Christian god.

That’s a weird feeling to be talking like that with the unspoken statement that I was a sinner by just being who I was (though he wouldn’t see it as me doing that--but just being a sinner). He believed that the reason he knew it was wrong was because us queer types and homogays lived shorter lives due to health, as a statistic. I stopped him there and explained the only reason that was a statistic was because gay, queer, and trans types and what had shorter lifespans because of assault, murder, and suicide. He actually thought long and hard on it, but didn’t say either way on whether or not he’d buy it.

Which, in the end, isn’t for me to ask for. This isn’t a rant or even something that upset my day in any way. I certainly don’t need his acceptance to go through with transition. It was just… -interesting-. That’s all. Of course, I would love to have his -approval- in general. But I want lots of thing. And not even most of the things I want are right, even though they’d be nice to have.

Again it was just something that left me thinking long and hard. Someone who was respectful, but seemed to sit on a bit of an unspoken implication. But religion is funny like that. So is transition. :p I more or less left it that I didn’t really approve of the strict, Biblical Christianity anyhow, so we left well enough alone and had a nice trip.

Other than, how’ve y’all been, sweet hearts? I’ve been okay other than a bit of dysphonia here and there. I gained a little weight and body and facial hair is bothering me in general. But I think I’ll be alright anyhow. I’m making the money I need now so it’s only a matter of time. I have many things want to do that are merely money needful. Moving out is the first, starting pay back for student loans is the second, and getting electrolysis is the third. But that’ll come in its own time.

Peace and love y’all. <33

~Red

OH also, shoutout to Reddit for being a cool place to waste time and meet cool people. 0: