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just fuck it (rant journal) by Rieza
I keep getting this feeling of worthlessness. Ever since I got my new job it seems like nothing I do is right and that anything I do to correct the problems I'm having it just makes things worse and creates more issues on top of the existing one.
My boss keeps pushing the blame back on me saying I'm not asking enough questions which is the reverse of what the norm has been for every other job I've ever held. So I just end up more lost and frustrated than when I started...
Guess it all boils down to I feel like I'm a failure and that feeling just keeps getting reinforced each day and each sit down I have with my boss. I know that it's not his intention to make me feel that way and that he just want the best out of me but it just doesn't seem like I can provide what he's looking for...
I guess that I'm making more out of this than it really is but I still can't shake the feeling complete failure out of my head.
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MistingWolf
Try telling your boss that these sit downs are not helping you, and ask to explore more positive reinforcement. I went through something similar a few years ago; I was not performing well, and they kept bringing me in to the manager's office, and all he did was point out everything I was doing wrong, and nothing that I was doing right. It made me feel like a total failure, and I was so frustrated. I ended up moving do a different department within the company, and with a way better boss, I improved and have been doing very well ever since.
So you gotta speak up, even if it's hard. If you can't vocalize, take some time to write down your feelings and give them to your boss. Maybe you can try moving to a different area, as well.