uuuuh fuck i actually feel kind of terrible asking this but like...between school, my health problems, and backlog commissions its....very very hard to keep up with everything. im getting further along with my major and work is only getting more intense and im literally drawing all the time, mostly because of school and i have to do it. between that and just generally...being in poor shape mentally as well as my chronic physical health ailments i dONT REALLY WANT TO GO INTO, it only allots me so very little time to work on the commissions i still owe, and sometimes i dont even get that time at the end of the week because i have to focus on irl stuff a lot, and i dont have the funds really to be able to pay everyone back whos waiting bc things had to be stretched thin in order to get certain things done. its slow and painful work for reals haha
with that in mind i uh,,, sorta talked to some friends about this and contemplating...opening donations? which would go towards transitional things to be honest, shit like clothes and binders and whatever the heck else hah. the biggest one on my list is that i need money in order to legally change my name. i desperately need to do this, i cannot begin to go into detail about how much i need that in my life so i can finally start, idek, becoming comfortable with myself and feeling safe. its daunting tho tbh..
so uhmm. idek i just..not sure if opening donations for that kinda stuff would be an okay thing to do? like would i be right about doing that? im not really sure. i dont want to like, be coddled. help transitioning would be fantastic but i dont want it to just be some thankless thing and i would feel guilty about getting help, fuck i already feel guilty about the help ive gotten in the past about this stuff wow haha thats something i need to work on a lot
enough of me rambling tho uhh idek i guess i just wanna bring this to attention if like..thats an okay thing to do. if its ok for me to ask for help to transition
sorry this is all long and not too happy a journal ahha i just. need to talk about it.