But I feel so intensely depressed just because I can't draw. My injured hand refuses to cooperate, even though it's just bruised my hand is so swollen and stiff that my drawings just kinda look like I used my feet. I'm going through a hard time in other aspects of my life and not being able to draw or write about it makes me feel more crippled than I already am. I know I complain on here a lot and it makes me feel like an idiot but I figure since almost no one reads what I write this is the best tool I have to relieve stress.

I've been struggling with severe depression and anxiety for a long time and now that I've been considering making a really big move, I'm both excited and terrified. I know where I'm going is going to be much more healthy for me and I will be much happier but it's still scary and I always hear a tiny little voice in the back of my head whispering "what if"s when I think about it and that stupid barely-there thought process brings up old feelings of inadequacy, confusion and suicidal impulses. I'm no longer a danger to myself but when those mutterings work their way into my everyday life I feel like my brain is just going to turn itself off like a tripped breaker switch because I am so overwhelmed.

If anyone is reading this, thank you for taking the time, I hope you are doing well and I wish you the best.