I figure some people are amused by the horror stories of what I deal with at work.

The Fuzz
A woman and her daughter brought some fabric up to the counter; it was not the cheap kind either, it was the nice Fashion Suitings. I was pleased that they knew exactly how much they wanted (you would not believe how many times I have to do the math for other people!). However, upon unrolling their more expensive bolt, the mother notices some fuzz on the fabric, nothing major, just a little bit of transfer strands from another fabric. She insists that she get a damage discount (which is 75% off) for the fuzz. I stare at her in disbelief and explain to her that we only discount damages for things that cannot be fixed- stains, misprints, and actual damage to the fabric like holes or loose threads. She glares at me as I wipe the fuzz off with my hand and continue cutting her fabric.
This isn't the first time people have insisted on getting a discount, or the end of a fabric cut off because of a little bit of transfer fluff. It happens at least once a month.
Moral of the story: if you don't want to pay that much for fabric, don't try to bullshit your way into a discount. We have a ton of coupons available, and tons of other fabrics that are cheaper.

Crossing the Line
I hate fabrics with designs perpendicular to the selvage. It's always the same thing with the people who get these cut, "Follow the design!"
Look, these aren't printed at a perfect 90 degree angle, over time they stretch and warp. So if I follow the edge of the design, you will not end up with the exact amount we paid for. We always add about an inch to the cut just so that you can fix the edge on your own time.
So a woman comes up with some fleece. If you didn't know, these No Sew, tie blankets are really popular right now. They're the crafty project for people that are craft challenged (I've had to explain the instructions for these before). Guess what, it's one of those patterns. She wants it cut to the design, and I tell her I'll try to get it as close as possible. Well my first cut wasn't close enough for her. "I'm need it to follow the design! It looks terrible! I'm not working around the size, I need it to be exact!!!!" Okay, well you were right there while I was cutting it, you could have said something WHILE I was cutting it. But no, you wait until I have finished cutting it! So now here's a yard and a half that I have to remnant. Thanks lady.

This woman...
We have a customer that comes in, she seems pretty buddy buddy with our auditor. I give our auditor a break for being a pain in the ass, that's her job! She's under a lot of stress to get everything perfect, to make sure that we do our job 100%, of course she's going to rub us the wrong way. Again, that's her job.
However, this woman... she's just a pain in the ass plain and simple. The first time I met her: it was pretty early. I was stocking the thread, so I put the can bell out on the cutting counter so people can get my attention if I don't see them first. Of course, I see her come over to the counter, smile and say "good morning" as I start walking over. She looks at me, deadpan, and rings the bell. Um, okay? I saw you, I spoke to you and I made eye contact as I was walking over, ringing the bell at that point is just unnecessary. I don't even remember what it was she needed, just that damn look in her face as she rings the bell like it could make me get there any faster.
The other day she came in again. Oh joy! She wanted some upholstery foam, and even brought a sample with her. "This will be easy" she said. LIES.
First off, the foam she brought over was an inch thicker than her sample, but she insisted this three inch foam was the price of the two inch foam. No ma'am, no it's not. I even hold a ruler up next to both, but she insists that she wants that. So I measure it out and mark the amounts she needs (four cuts at 20 inches each). She brings over a 2 inch sheet to compare, she tells me to go ahead and cut the 3 inch foam. I put my hand on the foam and ask "you want me to cut this one, right?" Her answer, "Yes, if it's wrong I'll just bring it back". Okay then. So I cut each piece and she complains with each one I hand her that the cut isn't straight. Foam is not easy to cut, especially when your only tool is a busted old turkey carver whose blades keep popping out.
Then this: She looks at the foam I have cut, all four pieces and says "this is 3 inch! I wanted you to cut the 2 inch!" No, you told me to cut the 3 inch, I fucking CHECKED! SO I cut the four pieces again, and again more complaints, but this time she leaves. My manager sneers as she walks away, "She does this all the time!"
The very next day she's back to return the foam she had cut. It's on sale today, she wants the sale price for the foam she bought yesterday or she'll just return it. Technically you can return and repurchase something for the sale price, but we're not supposed to do that. So she returns the foam, now we have 8 pre cut pieces of foam. Anyone need to restuff a chair?

We're Closed
This one has happened multiple times, but last night's incident is the funniest. A woman bangs on the door 5 minutes after we had closed. My coworker informs her that he can't let her in, we're closed.
"The lights are on! You're open!" She insisted. Yeah, well the company just can't afford to equip us with night vision goggles, so we have to leave the lights on while we spend 2 hours cleaning up (yeah, I get home around midnight most nights).
"No ma'am, we close at 9, it's already 5 past 9."
She takes down his name and promises to report him to the management. We both start laughing as he closes the door. When she was gone we started doing impressions of her. It's always these rich white women from the rich neighborhood nearby that pitch a fit about us following the rules.