Hey, everyone.

I just wanted to let you know what's been happening with me since my last journal entry. It was an utterly heartbreaking time for me. There have been constant reminds Wheezy's absence — like when I finished distributing bowls of food to my cats, only to realize, out of habit, that I still had one bowl leftover — and they all hit me hard in the first few weeks following her death. I still miss her, but I've had time to mourn, so I'm doing a lot better now.

I got her urn from the vet just now — my family wanted her cremated. Every other pet that we've lost, we've buried. That's why I'd made those remarks, last month, about dreading to dig another grave. I don't even know what to do with this urn now, to be honest.

Regardless, I've received a lot of support from my friends and followers on here. Normally I try to individually reply to all of the commentary that I get on here, but at the time, I didn't have it in me. I did read everything, and everything that was written here was comforting. I appreciate it all; thank you, all, so much for your kindness.

I'm glad that I attempted everything doable to help my cat in her time of illness — I would have regretted it had I not tried — but I'm still out a huge amount of money from the vet bills. I'm considering streaming commissions sometime soon to ease the financial burden. I was actually preparing to do so after Wheezy pulled through her high-risk surgery, but when passed away the next day, my spirit was crushed and I didn't have it in me to sit and draw for long periods. Regardless, I'm feeling better now, and would like to get back to drawing more regularly. Art is very important to me.

On another note, my 28th birthday is coming up soon: Saturday, September 13th. I was stumped on what to do for it. My last one was rather anticlimactic, after most of my local friends had forgotten it. While that shouldn't be hard to top this year, the thought of spending the night solely hanging out and drinking feels more hollow than it once did. A birthday is supposed to be a thing of celebration, but upon reflection, I'm not sure if I have a lot to celebrate. Have I accomplished enough in the last year? With ineffectual training, failed romance, come-to-naught job prospects, and the recent death of a beloved pet, this summer hasn't been anything like I'd hoped. The spring before that did have good progress made on my house, but it's still not as I'd like it to be. And in the winter and fall, I fought off a bout of depression. I did get to travel a bit though, mostly for work. While I've done more than nothing, I don't feel satisfied with my progress.

While I was reading about the topic of birthdays, I found one suggestion: Do something that you've always wanted to do, but haven't. Most of the things on my to-do list require more money than I have to spare, especially after those vet bills. They mostly include travelling to different locales and spending time with friends. However, one really important thing to me is to finish work on my house — especially my basement. That'll give me a good area to work as an artist, and also to exercise, both of which would mean a lot to me. Now, that's not much of a birthday party, but I was hoping that I could round up a work party to help this weekend, then celebrate with people during the following weekend after the work is done. I already have a couple of volunteers, so I'm hoping that I can score some more soon. It's a lot for me to handle solo; while I could do it (as I've been continually chipping away at these projects), a work party would make life a lot easier.

I do have a wish list as well. I don't normally prepare them, as I'm not very materialistic, but there are a handful of items that I'd actually find useful this year — some cheap, some expensive (AKA: wishful thinking) — mostly having to do with art education. My mom always likes to buy me stuff, so I sent it to her, thinking maybe she'll pick me up one of those books or something, instead of trying to get me clothes that don't fit right, haha

This has been a rough summer. Now that we're moving into fall, hopefully things will go a lot better, starting with my birthday.